| 1 comments ]

Conner Boyack is single, and has a lot of free time on his hands, so he is recreating the wheel (ah, but its a Mormon wheel!), and staining the Bloggernacle with his efforts. Ugh, nothing is worse than a bachelor's laundry pile. Ring around the collar, stinky armpits, ketchup on ties. Don't even get me started on their socks. Eeeeew! All those grey blotches on that little guy to the left there are definitely a result of mixing whites, lights and colors in the washing machine. Ick, don't their mothers teach them anything? Alma 56:47-48 sure doesn't have anything to do with laundry.

But if you want to get a suStains out, what do you do? Shout it out! And, John Dehlin, never one to bring attention to himself by mentioning his own clevah brilliance, naturally avoids the limelight, focusing it squarely on the present fruits of Conner's labors.

| 5 comments ]

Blognitive, Blognitive, bo bognitive,
Banana fana, fo fognitive
Who has the first prerogative?
Blognitive!

Should right of ownership of the blog name "Blognitive Dissonance" go to the first creator? Or should it go to the most presumptuous? Daniel B. asks the Bloggernacle, "what should I do?"

Mormon Mommies know that when there is an argument among their children-- "I had it first!" "No, it's MINE!" Mormon Mommies know to take the item away and place it on top of the refrigerator.


[Ed:Snarkette - OK, now Daniel and Darren, go and place it on top of the fridge, and which ever one of you survives can have it.]

Thx: Blogger Blaster

| 15 comments ]

File under: Obvious

John Dehlin, the Bloggernacle's emissary (or is that enmityssary?) for the Disaffected Mormon Underground (DAMU) has been kicked off the Moarch. Now there is a surprise.

Seriously, people, the only question is, "Why did the Moarchistocracy ever link Dehlin in the first place?" Getting tossed was only a matter of time. Duh.



But, hey, John's gotta milk it for all its worth. There will be dozens of podcasts where he interviews himself about how he feels and how it has affected his daily life as he opines ad nauseum about how all he is trying to do is spread love, understanding and warm pink fuzzy hugs between groups of people with opposing views and more than their fair share of vehement, irrational hatred.

John, stop whinging and be grateful for the link-throughs you got from them while you were there. For a guy who wants to promote love, peace and understanding, you sure are doing all you can to sew ill will against the Mormon Archipelago guys, whom you explicitly name to the best of your ability, so all your mates will hate them. Ah, the sweet, sweet savour of hypocrisy.

Oh, and DKL, nothing like riding on someone else's coat tails to promote yourself. YUCK! BTW, I’ll be releasing LDSDefect 2.0 some time soon, so keep an Egyptian Eye of Horus out for an even more self-referential and self-congratulatory version wherein I spend 2.0 time the amount of time pretending to be a rebel fighting for the little guy when it really is all about me sticking it to the Moarch. Yeah, did I mention I rock? Yeah, hard. Just ask SKL. Who is one hot momma.

| 7 comments ]

File under: False Prophets

Earlier this month Team SN predicted the debut of the BizarroNacle, and, lo, it has come to pass. The Millennial Black Hole has been pretty much a burned-out shell of half-hearted Mormon conservativism for some time now. And they were feeling jealous of T&S and BCC adding new permablahgers. So, the boys follow suit and turn the Bloggernacle's black hole into Mark Butler's Fun House of Madness. It won't be long before Mark is out-posting and out-commenting Geoff B and the rest of the beleagured, bedraggled remnants of the M0 Contributors. Believe it or not, some people are actually excited about that. Reason stares. But, hey, Languatron was also up there in the rankings. You know, there is just no accounting for taste.



All of the people whose blogs were being clogged with Mark's bloggerrhea are no doubt collectively breathing a sigh of relief that he will now funnel his time and energies into the black hole. And since nobody really bothers with the M0 anymore, its a good way for Mark to effectively be shoved into his own cubby hole of obscurity. We all owe Geoff B a big thanks for so selflessly sacrificing M0 for the betterment of the Nacle.

| 10 comments ]

The LDS Law Students blog has some sage advice for those looking for work: look both honest and hardworking.

Seems pretty common sense, right? Well, um, take a look around the lawyers of the Bloggernacle and see why this may not be so common as one might think. Lets see, Kaimi sure does have an awful lot of spare time on his hands. This backwoods country lawyer spends a lot of time keeping up on current events. Steve has enough time on his hands to shepherd BCC and watch primate documentaries and Aaron can always find time to squeeze in sarcastic comments. Naturally, Nate has time to ponder the imponderable, even though he is preparing to teach this coming semester. And look at DKL, he clearly has plenty of free time to blog...oh...wait a minute...he is just a lawyer-wanna-be. Who else have we missed? You cannot hardly go anywhere without stepping on a lawyer's toes in the Naccle. Someone isn't working 100 hours/week. But some must, as that is probably why Chelsea Grimmius, the renowned M* contributor, never posted once. So, LDS lawyer bloggers, look to Chelsea as your example...at least until you land that first job.

| 9 comments ]



The latest Blahhhrrgernacle addition is:

Sick & Tired (S&T)

CREDO: This new blog is going to cut to the chase and eliminate the fore and middle ground of blog evolution by:



1) Recycling old posts

2) Having a lot of permabloggers who either don't post or rarely post

3) Have high turnover guest bloggers, not allowing them to stay too long so as to add to the volume but not be permitted to eclipse the permabloggers

4) Have more permanent bloggers leave than join

5) Praise malcontents

6) Get more hits from google and yahoo searches than from Naccle readers

In short, S&T is going to beat the Old Blogs at their own game. A sure-fire recipe for senescence and rapid deterioration!


| 3 comments ]

You know, JimF is like the schoolmarm of the Bloggernacle, when he isn't wagging his finger at non-permabores*, telling them to behave themselves and be more polite and sensitive*, he is back-handedly praising people with such kind and tenderloving equivocal insults that they take it as though it were praise. Not many people are sophisticated and diplomatic enough to pull something like that off. Now, granted, most people would consider something like that disingenuous, but JimF crafts his words so carefully that you would look like a dolt even suggesting such a thing. How skillful!

Alas, if he would only turn his rapier-like wit to his fellow permabores, who are by turns every bit as rude, obnoxious, pretentious, contrary, un-PC and unlikely to apologize as anyone else JimF is so fond of complimentarily criticizing. But, that will never happen, since being esconsed within the ivory towers of Academe, one learns very quickly to never bite the hand that holds tenure from you. But, hey, all those non-impeachable offenses aside, I am glad JimF is part of the Church and the Bloggernacle, because Sun-Tzu was right.

* too lazy to look up links

| 4 comments ]

So the results are in and the Bloggernacle readers generally don't like current events blogging, by a margin of 3:1.


Now, one might argue the results are skewed as the respondents are all SnarkerNacle readers who are naturally a bitter, angry lot. HA! That is where you are wrong! Not about the readers being a bitter, angry lot, but about the respondents. You see, the LDS Patriot took it upon himself to attempt to skew the results by posting the survey on his blog, so his readers would naturally pick the last choice. The sad thing is not even enough of them responded favorably to swamp the cynical SN readers.

So, Patriot and Guy, we expect the two of you to meet in the field of honor with hair trigger pistols sometime soon and do each other in. Quickly. And be smart about it, please.

P.S., one immediate benefit of the survey is LDS Patriots daily posts have gone from 20 to 2. Now if the permabores at T&S could just take a hint and resign themselves from the Bloggernacle the same way DMI Dave has (this is a resignation, right, if all blogging is BS and he has sworn off BS then he must be resigning from blogging. QED), so as to make the Nacle poop-free, then it would really be a garden (complete with deflowers) instead of a cesspool.

| 9 comments ]

Evidently unsatisfied with his forays into deceased horse flogging at the Great But Not Quite Spacious T&S, where its All Kaimi, all the time, Kaimi's prolific sabbatical continues, this time pulling a guest stint at FMH.

Don't get me wrong - I'm all for Guest Blogging, or even Guest Snarking. I'm all for diversity in all its forms. But when a Nacle Blog has a name like Feminist Mormon Housewives one would think the contributors would be limited by gender.

In keeping with his established tradition, Kaimi trots out the emaciated moldering equine corpses of Polygamy, Polyandry, Polygyny, and Pollyanna to give them a good 1,463 word flogging, followed by, at last count 48 comments. Poor horses.

So, I raise the obvious question: Should Kaimi's Guy Card be confiscated?

| 3 comments ]

You know, it is so hard to find current events online. I mean, I used to spend hours neglecting my children looking for even the tiniest shred of Mormons news. I mean its not like there are any big blogs with slanted current events posted in their sidebars. Yeah, and like the LDS Church would even link current events, shhhheeeyeahh!

Thankfully, the Messenger & Advocate's group blog group of one Guy Murray (sorry, Guy, you being on two blogs does not make you a group) keeps me informed of everything Mitt Romney does, and the LDS Patriot posts on anything even that even hints of Mormonism (and occasionally does post on Mitt, but with nowhere near the zeal of Guy). Phew! That takes a load of my mind! Now I don't have to neglect the kids anymore! Little Johnny and Sally say, "Yay!"

The question now is, is there room enough for two current events bloggers in the Nacle? Sure, sure, Guy dominates the Mormon Archipeligo's current events with his backcountry California lawyerly ingratiating style, and the LDS Patriot dominates LDSelect box three, frequently crowding out all others. But, that is not the point! The Point is there can only be ONE! That is the whole point of the American capitalist spirit, crush the competition and be the dominant force in whatever you do.

So, who will it be? Will Guy Murray's obsession with everything Mitt reign supreme, or will the LDS Patriot's persistent torrent of the tangential flood the Naccle, washing away all others?

VOTE!!!

| 10 comments ]

You knew it was going to happen eventually.

Having been thoroughly unimpressed by the Mormon Archipelago podcast, Dazzle and I got together and created the first Snark Cast.

Feel free to amuse yourselves by taking a listen here. Like most of the Nacle, I am very cheap, hence the free podcasting service. I take no responsibility for the ads which have been put at the beginning of the Snark Cast, or whatever the hosting service has seen fit to advertise at my expense.

Free is free.

Enjoy our first attempt into the wide world of pod casting.

| 8 comments ]

John F. rubs elbows with captains of industry and heads of state. That must make him pretty important. Its not just everyone who is tight with the former CEO of General Electric, who just happens to be a best-selling author to boot. Dang, and high-fivin the Prez o' Deutschland! Yeah, baby! Won't be long before John will be color commentating on CNN about blogging and being famous and stuff and lunching and hiking with bigshots.

Oh, hey, wait a minute. Thats not Jack Welch, thats some other Jack Welch, some BYU perfesser or something like that. And you bump into some ceremonial, powerless figurehead out killing time hiking around the alps? OK, whatever. Report back when you hang with the real Jack Welch and Angela Merkel.

| 5 comments ]

Mark Buttler, the hyperactive yet blogless commentor who first infected the Metaphysical Mormon some months back, and then moved on to Kewl Noo Thingamablog, and has now turned into a pox of Biblical proportions on the entire Naccle, has stated in a deleted comment (Mark says, "Curses on you liberal wacko administrators for censoring the most orthodox, intelligent, well-reasoned voice of truth on the planet") on Aaron B. Cox's Spinozaquest he is going to start his own blog when he gets around to it (he is entirely too busy writing comments on every blog in the Nacle to spend 5 minutes registering his own blog).


There is no question in my mind that once Buttler starts his blog, it will be a Bizarro version of the Bloggernacle where DKL and he enter into lengthy philosophical debates that have nothing to do with anything other than showing how smart they are.



Hey, but at least when he starts his own blog, then that will save all of the blog administrators from having to delete all his comments or reading through the dozens of essays sitting in the comment queue that he posted to your blog while you were eating lunch, going to the bathroom or sleeping.

| 3 comments ]

Kage used to hide behind a pseudonym and post hacked pictures of herself and make tantalizing allusions to who she really was, practically daring people to out her. Apparently that didn't generate the interest she was looking for, so she has gone and outed herself. You can see all sorts of stuff about this formerly shy mommie who has apparently decided that being a Mormon wouldn't harm her career as a print model and singer. So, please do welcome Kristy Glass to the Bloggernacle and pay her lots of attention, as she would clearly enjoy that.

| 1 comments ]

Oh the Nacle is so fickle! One week it hates apologetics and apologists, and the next it just lurves them to death. What's a snarker to do? Hate the blog, not the blogger? Its all so confusing! Hey, wait a minute! I just spotted something...


Some Doctor guy has positively identified the species Blogg, and Doctors always know what they are talking about, right? Apparently a two fingered bipedal marsupial with short coarse hair, not fully evolved. OK, this is starting to make sense. The Blogger isn't really a person at all, so that is why it doesn't act rationally! Its just an animal that has barely enough fingers to type! You know, that explains a lot. The constantly recycled subjects, redundant arguments and silly flame wars that seem so juvenile. Ah, its all so crystal clear now. If I had only known this a year ago.

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You know, you would think he woulda learned by now. But, no, he still lists himself among "the participants". Um, yeah.

| 1 comments ]



Moribund Mules Smile! Yippee!


Who would have thought it!?!? Yes, its true, in only a matter of a few weeks, the boring repeats that used to pollute the Bloggernacle have been beaten back with fresh and original content. Yes, yes, we take complete credit for this. If it weren't for our very public smear campaign against offenders, the Bloggernacle would no doubt continue to be awash in the same old slop. OK, OK, we'll give some credit to the people who actually posted non-baniku content, but, really, you can thank us for it, since they would have posted baniku if it weren't for our tireless efforts at stamping it out. No, no, hold the applause. But, do send flowers...and money...and chocolate, but only good chocolate, not cheap stuff.

P.S., and CP mathoni, we are watching you, yes, you. Don't think we have forgetten about you.

| 1 comments ]

File Under: No Hard Feelings, Hugs

Kaimi not only practices what he preaches, he is also an all-around super nice guy who wants to maintain all of his Naccle relationships. And while he may be too busy to write a long comment at BCC, he is not too busy to write a deferential carbon copy post at T&S. KHH leaves T&S in a huff because of Adam's obnoxious arrogance, but Kaimi wants KHH to know he still hearts her. Yay! Feel the love. The Naccle really is just one big happy family.

| 2 comments ]

The MHole has a little spam problem, for weeks now actually (just look at the Recent Comments list on the sideblog, and even though someone has brought it to their attention, nobody has done anything about it. Kind of like when the Days Left in the Book of Mormon challenge thing hung around for months after the January Deadline, and the way they keep non-contributors on their list of contributors for months after they've left. So, yeah, I guess this is the only blog in the naccle that J.Stapley isn't administering.

UPDATE: Whoever the "administrator" is there at M0 deleted the linked comment above, and removed some of the most recent spam comments that were in the comment cue. But, pretty much all of the old spam in the contributor's comments are still there. Take a look at Tanya's , Ben's or Bryce's profile comments. Sweet, what a coincidence, I needed some cheap valium, airplane tickets and a boat in Malta.

| 4 comments ]

You know those "men" who comment over on FMH? We have always suspected they were really women pretending to be men so FMH could claim to have a balanced audience.

fmh"Rich" has now exposed herself (scroll down to comment #18, since FMH comment links are not properly coded and, hence, don't work--*ahem*, J. Stapley).

C'mon Rich, we all know that no man in his right mind would sit on a toilet seat in a public bathroom just to pee. Men only sit on a public toilet seat when there is, well, a REAL reason. And sometimes they'll ignore that reason as long as humanly possible. Yea, oft times it requires a downright emergency to get a man to enter a stall, even more of an emergency to sit down.

Let me guess, Rich, you sit down to pee in a port-a-potty as well? Do you sit down when urinating in the woods?

Men attempt to enter and exit a bathroom without touching anything other than one's own person. Witness the line of men who queue up in a public bathroom waiting for one of the others to break down and reach for the doorknob.

Rich has been exposed. Hereafter, by decree of the Quorum of the Indeterminate Number of Snarkers, she shall refer to herself as Rachel.