| 13 comments ]

Julie at T&S put the link to the Niblets in the T&S sidebar and shouts "I AM ornery", take a look:



The always honest AnneGB nominated Ms. Smith as the "best ornery blogger" or something like that. Maybe its just me, but I have always considered "ornery" to be rather...um...derogatory. Lets check and see:

or·ner·y /ˈɔrnəri/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation [awr-nuh-ree] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective, -ner·i·er, -ner·i·est. Dialect.
1. ugly and unpleasant in disposition or temper: No one can get along with my ornery cousin.
2. stubborn: I can't do a thing with that ornery mule.
3. low or vile.
4. inferior or common; ordinary.
[Origin: 1790–1800; contr. of ordinary]

Yup, that was what I thought it meant. Well, either Julie is finally admitting to us all what we already know, or she doesn't know what the word means. If it the former, then she will leave the mouse-over description there. If it is the latter, then she will remove the mouse-over once she has read this.

You know, sometimes I just don't even have to try. These things just write themselves.

| 5 comments ]

FMH Rich hates George W. Bush. He absolutely loathes Dick Cheney. This hate and loathing he feels for the aforementioned men is superseded only by the vitriol he feels for anybody who voted for, gave money to, or even so much as smiled at them since November of 2000.

You see, FMH Rich has got it all figured out. The world would be such a much nicer, safer, and more peaceful place if we would but hearken unto the wisdom of FMH Rich. So, where pray tell may we go to find this light and knowledge that will so improve our lives?

I'd love to point to to FMH Rich's blog or published works, but sadly I cannot.

He sees fit to grace the world with his enlightenment in the comment section - mostly on the posts of FMH. (I'd link you directly to the comments, but FMH still hasn't fixed that problem. Calling J. Stapely!)

In addition to his foreign policy and economic expertise, FMH Rich is also a noted scriptorian. He has taken great exception to an April 2003 General Conference Address by the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator of the Lord Jesus Christ - Gordon B. Hinckley. President Hinckely, FMH Rich would like you to know

proved that he does not understand the scripture he quoted in support of Bush’s little war in Iraq.
(Author's note - unlike FMH Rich, I'll give you the link to the whole address, rather than just cherry pick it without any reference what so ever.)

FMH Rich's potshot can be found in the #1 comment on FMH Rebecca's post. Rebecca has some good questions. I hope she finds her answers. After reading most of FMH Rich's comments - he takes the lion's share - I've come to the conclusion he must spend the better part of his day chugging pickle juice, if not sucking the vinegar from the pickles themselves in order to keep his mood and mindset in the proper balance.

So, FMH Rich's diatribe via comments evidently begs the question: To whom will you look for the "proper" interpretation of any given scripture - the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator of the Lord Jesus Christ - or FHM Rich?

The answer is pretty clear to me.

| 7 comments ]



Guest post: Mahmood Ahmadinejad

In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful, O, Almighty God, bestow upon humanity the perfect human being promised to all by You, and make us among his followers.

Noble Bloggers,

As HP/JDC and Ronan and Daniel Good Democrat and Connor Boyack and Guy Murray point out over and over, day after day, were we not faced with the activities of the US administration in this part of the world and the negative ramifications of those activities on the daily lives of our peoples, coupled with the many wars and calamities caused by the US administration as well as the tragic consequences of US interference in other countries; Were the American people not God-fearing, truth-loving, and justice-seeking , while the US administration actively conceals the truth and impedes any objective portrayal of current realities; And if we did not share a common responsibility to promote and protect freedom and human dignity and integrity; Then, there would have been little urgency to have a dialogue with you.

But as Bored in Vernal and John Dehlin want you to pray, fast and meditate in an effort to promote peace in Iran, by sending positive energy into the universe toward this situation, then I, President Ahmadinejad give thanks for your truth-loving efforts in not praying for troops and to expose scheming liar Bush for premeditated Murder on Iran through Zionest entity, which lies about Holocost to get sympathy while murdering Palestinians.

I, President of Iranian Peoples, accept positive energy sent through universe, and harness in righteous nuclear enrichment facility with your love and prayers to create peace-loving truthful energy which has no brake and no reverse gear to bring peace to Middle East, by driving Israel into sea and ending Zionist regime murder of Palestinian Diaspora.

Peace be upon you, Bloggernacle, for sending energy through universe to me. I promise to use this energy for peace to bring about Hidden Imam, Mahdi to rule in peace forever.

Be recipient of hugs and kisses, Mahmood.

| 9 comments ]

Grouchy Smurf, distant bluish relative of Grumpy Dwarf, doesn't like unsmurfy grace! Doesn't matter that unsmurfy Philip "Gargamel" Yancey's definition agrees with Azrael's concordance, or the LDS canonical usage of the term. It just isn't smurfy!

OK, Grouchy Smurf, go and make up your own definition of "grace", one that neatly fits into your private speculative theology of allegorical Adam & Eve, Multiple Mortal Probations and loopy hermeneutics. Then label it "smurfy" and all the other Smurfs there in Smurfysville can blog about how smurfy it is.

| 13 comments ]

We are Ridiculous postMormon Feminists. We are men and women, gay and straight, white and of color, of varying ages and abilities, from many nationalities and economic backgrounds, but we are all trendy, worldly pseudo-intellectuals. As such, we write this proclamation to selfishly assert our needs and our agenda for those oppressed by the church’s stand on issues of gender and sexuality, which is so traditional it is just no longer cool, hip and suitable for mainstream left-wing America.

We affirm that the LDS Church has to move out of the 18th century into the 21st century and get with the times and drop this whole Bible thing. Vox populi is where it is at, and the old school prophet stuff is just a load of crap...unless we are voted to be the prophets, then it is cool and we are down with that.

But, we are not, so as such, we assert that we will overthrow the current hierarchy so we can grab power from them, because they do not understand that we don't want to repent or change and our ideas concerning Jesus are that he accepts us in our sins no matter what so you Priesthood-wielders who tell us to repent and submit to the Authority of God are just a bunch of out-of-touch old farts and we are hip and cool.

Additionally, we like to pretend that the last pair of chromosomes in every cell of our bodies does not determine our sex, but rather people can choose their "gender" by doing whatever they want regardless of consequences to society. People ought to be allowed to be horribly selfish and do whatever they want, because the individual is more important than the family and, besides, families are just groups of individuals, and having two mothers on a birth certificate proves we are not just pretending that sperm-donors don't exist. They really, legally do not exist.

We covet the Priesthood and will take it from you and give it to whoever we want, whenever we want, regardless of what they do, because that's the way we roll.

While we affirm the free agency of each individual to make their own choices about Mormon belief and practice, but if you don't agree with us and follow suit then you had better get the hell out of the way because we are going to build our own version of the all-inclusive Zion where sin is OK right over your stodgy, old white man geezerhoodness and we will pave right over your front yard in the process.

We acknowledge that large changes seldom happen overnight. We suggest the following as beginning steps to achieving the goals discussed above:

1) Call couples to serve in bishoprics together. Allow women to interview and hear the confessions of other women, because they will be able to feed the ward grapevine all that much faster and get peer pressure into play to get everyone in line faster.
2) Jettison boy scouts and create the same youth programs for girls and boys, seriously, Boy Scouts is so freakin 1940 Normal Rockwell. Get with the times, we need a program that encourages Gay men to spend time with vulnerable and impressionable boys
3) Drop the "preside" language about marriage. Focus on co-equal partnerships, especially that co-equal part about me telling you what to do and you doing it while I watch Oprah
4) Make priesthood ordinations optional and/or given as a young person desires it--sort of like a patriarchal blessing. Allow both girls and boys the same opportunities for ordination, and also make child-bearing optional for males, because this one woman-one womb thing is a load of bull, it is time for you lazy men to start bearing some of your own children
5) Let women learn their husbands' new names at the temple veil, even though that whole temple thing will be abolished when we take over the Church, we demand equality now just before we dismantle it all and recreate it in our own wymnly imyge.
6) Allow same-sex couples to be sealed in the temple, even when local laws don't allow legal marriage, because we have to beat San Francisco and Boston to the punch and prove we are more progressive than anyone else on the planet, oh, and introduce some new movies into the ceremony with Adam and Steve and Adelle and Eve, just to make Homosexuals more comfortable
7) Let women plan and speak at their own RS Conferences w/no men involved, because even though we now demand to be totally involved in everything the Priesthood does, you had better be sure we will exclude you from our meetings from now on to make up for all the years of abuse
8) Allow women to preside over official meetings, such as sacrament meeting, the name of which will now be changed to Communal Good Feelings Total Acceptance Meetings, since the Sacrament is an ancient form of patriarchal ritual instituted by a man and only given to men deemed worthy with no womyn present
9) Make all callings totally voluntary, self-serving and entirely self-promotional, so we can take complete control of everything, now. And then exclude everyone who doesn't agree with us. Now.

| 13 comments ]


One of Z's D's is hating Mormons, because, unlike her, they are bitter, angry, unforgiving people who find fault with others, harbor grudges, hang on to lingering resentment and generally fail to live that Christian principle of forgiving one another, moving on with life, and trying to make the world a better place to live. And, rightly so, since Mormons are all a completely homogeneous group of clones who act and think alike (naturally, with the exception of this particular Z's D) and are so intrinsically flawed, they are the literal spawn of Satan who's individual acts invalidate the authority of God and make His Truths a lie.


Fortunately, this Z's D has brought this truth to light for the Bloggernacle, which stinks, because it is a pile of Mormons.

| 4 comments ]

While BCC embraces new technology, T&S decides to wallow in the 20th Century, making all sorts of lame excuses why change is bad.

We all know what it really boils down to: none of the T&S permabores know how to record their voices and create mp3 files (come on, while they blog, it is obvious there isn't a computer savvy one among them, with arJ exploiting their default passwords to pillage their blog for over a week and finally outing himself and telling them what they need to do to batten down the hatches?). That, and they all fear what they would sound like in real life, since any attempt to actually talk to each other would quickly degenerate into the same sorts of petty squabbles that constantly permeate their back channel e-mail correspondence.

Reading between the lines, the title "I Hate Podcasts" really means "I Hate [that BCC] Podcasts [, it makes us look just that much old and tired]"

| 4 comments ]

...which would explain all those pre-Columbian carvings and paintings featuring dinosaurs with carts.

| 5 comments ]

The 'Nacle Guy Council would like to remind the Brethren of the upcoming Men's Conference to be broadcast tonight on CBS Television stations nationwide beginning at 6:30 PM Eastern.

While participation is not mandatory and thus "opting out" will not result in immediate Guy Card revocation, complete avoidance of the Men's Conference can result in a point deduction from said Guy Card.

Those with revoked Guy Cards are obviously exempted from the Men's Conference.

Sincerely,

'Nacle Guy Council

| 10 comments ]

You know, there is nothing like a series of self-referential nominations to show us all what you are really all about.

Ah, sweet, sweet narcissism. How do I love me? Let thee count the ways.

| 12 comments ]

Being a man feminist is all vogue these days in the Bloggernacle. First it starts out with JohnR at FMH, then J.Stapley has to go and try to legitimize it. Natch, Kaimi has to trot out his feminist street cred, since he has been one for so long and all these johnny-come-latelys are usurping his femimasculinity. But, in the process of doing so, Kaimi hits a triple by brown nosing both his Bishop & Stake President and bragging on himself for teaching EQ for years now, in different wards. Well played, Kaimster. Won't be long before you are promoted into the HQ Presidency, or even Counsellor in the Bishopbric. Work it, baby.