Suddenly, being on Facebook doesn't seem as hip as it used to.
Some people might say, "Sing a hymn!" (just steer clear of "As Sisters in Zion" and "We Meet Again As Sisters")
Whenever tempted, just remember:
We Snarkers are always on the lookout for ways to help our fellow Bloggernaclites solve their dilemmas. Sometimes we can help. Oft times we can’t. When we came across Bored In Vernal’s Boob Conundrum, being the red-blooded American males that we are, we just had to try.
Thus it is with great pride that we introduce a solution for BIV’s “saggy sack” dilemma. We tried getting Billy Mays to pitch this product for us, but it turns out he’s no longer commercially available. Thus we introduce the Select Comfort Boob Number device. No need to go through painful cosmetic surgery!
Pick your size and firmness level – adjust at your leisure. Go from baseball filled knee high socks to porn-star ready in ten seconds or less. Too soft? Use the wireless remote for trouble free inflation. Rock hard? Use the easily accessible yet unobtrusive relief valve.
Of course, there is the problem of couples who have different “comfort” levels.
We hope you’ll both come to a mutually agreeable “boob” number.
And remember, we’re here to help.