Aaron B. Cox, the self-anointed Prophet of God, spoke to the Nacle Friday, reprimanding the godless swine for their lack of belief and faith in the Lord's anointed mouthpiece. The Truth spoken by Aaron was manifestly self-evident, so any who questioned his divine words were admonished to throw their computer monitors out their windows. Naturally, the philistines recoiled at his seeming brazeness, but the Mighty Aaron promptly summoned flame from heaven to consume the doubters, and it did...and then he awoke from his delusional slumber.

In other news, Aaron B. Cox was put on probation by his employer for using office computer equipment for personal reasons not related to work. He was moved to the Shipping & Receiving Department, out of reach of the company network, and told to stay out of the front office, except between the hours of 5:30-6:00pm to empty the trash and wipe down the kitchenette. Cox was about to call his boss to repentance for interfering with the Work of God, but recalled his wife threatened to "kick him where it hurts" if he got fired again.


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