Vince McMahon: Yes, folks, the fight event of the year is here! We are live at Madison Square Garden witnessing the first ever Bloggernacle DeathMatch! Where Mormon Bloggers face off to deal with their virtual opponents in the flesh! To the death! We're here live with the BloggerNacle Snarker and Randy Savage, for color commentary. Randy, any thoughts on the fight card tonight?
Randy "Macho Man" Savage: Hey man, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for the fifty grand. Buncha nerds swingin their arms like old women. What is this!?! Boy, I tell you...I could tear all of these guys limb from limb myself, all at the same time. What a bunch of girlscouts.
VM: Thanks for that, Randy. Snarker, what do you think of tonight's lineup?
Snarker: Hey Vince, thanks for having me, it's a real pleasure to see people tear each other limb from limb. Not that I advocate violence or anything like that. But, since they already hate each other, we may as well go ahead and make the virtual literal.
VM: Good point there, Snarker. Do you think we will see any upsets tonight?
S: No, no, I think the outcomes will be predictable. But, tonight will be a big test of endurance for DKL. He has multiple fights tonight, so if this guy can pull it off, it will be impressive. Very impressive.
VM: No doubt. I am sure there will be a lot of people in the audience thirsting for his blood, it will be interesting to see how the crowd reacts.
S: Yes, certainly, Vince. But, I for one, will jump into the ring and personally attack DKL if he pulls any dirty moves on Rosalynde. DKL has been known to fight dirty and pull banned objects into the ring in the past. But, if he pulls that this time on Rosalynde, I will personally sink my teeth into him.
VM: OK, there is the bell, so let's go to the ring side! But, before we do, we want to put in a good word for our sponsor. This BloggerNacle Deathmatch brought to you by proud sponsor: Deseret Book Stores, where all your gospel merchandising needs are fulfilled, in time for Christmas!
S: Alright, lets see some blood!
VOTE on who lives and who dies in the squared circle!
P.S. Apologies to submitters who had their entries excluded. The SurveyMonkey thing only allows 10 questions on a single page for freebies, so we had to pick what we thought were the best 10.
Snarked by
Response to Jodi Stoddard
7 comments
"so we had to pick what we thought were the best 10."
We?!?
So who's helping you out Kingsley?
The first rule of Snarkernacle is you do not talk about Snarkernacle.
Neat, you are doing it.
BTW, any other real wrestlers or martial artists in the 'nacle?
Criteria?
Physical strength? Manliness? Erudition? How do we know who would win in Fight Club?
Since nobody paired me up to take on DKL in a death match, I'll do it right here:
Q: Why do people take an instant disliking to DKL?
A: It saves time
Q: What's the difference between DKL and a mannequin of DKL?
A: DKL burns longer
Q: What's the difference between DKL and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
Q: What's the difference between DKL and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you cut up DKL
Q: Why doesn't DKL play hide and seek?
A: Because nobody would try to find him.
Q: What's the difference between a dead DKL in the read and a dead squirrel in the road?
A: There's skid marks in front of the squirrel.
Q: What do you call DKL in a hot tub?
A: Vegetable soup.
Q: How can you tell when DKL is saying something stupid?
A: His mouth is moving.
Q: Why does DKL's car have vanity plates that read DKL?
A: So that he can park in handicapped spaces.
Q: DKL and a murderer are standing in the middle of the road. Which one do you run over first and why?
A: The murderer. Business before pleasure.
Q: What do a SCUD missile and DKL have in common?
A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.
Q: Did you hear the intelligent comment made by DKL?
A: Neither did I.
Q: How do you keep DKL from drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head.
So who won? Me or DKL?
Ronan-- I believe the criteria are who would win in an actual death match. Two men enter! One man leaves!
You have a good decade or two on Wilfried, so I think you're okay.
Come on Kristen, three "r's" in NrrrdFight. Get with the program.
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