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Kiskilili at Zelophehad's Daughters (say that three times fast, and BTW why arent these gals actually using the real names of Zelophedad's daughters as their pseudonyms?) repeats a bunch of stuff about women in heaven, all of which is the totally speculative nonsense that gets kicked around at church, and then says:

"In short, I'm not at all sure what exactly the women in heaven are doing, but I've become increasingly convinced I would rather not be doing it."

Kiskilili, what if it turns out women are the ones in charge in heaven and the reason men are all we hear about is because they are, literally, the low men on the totem pole? Huh? Look at what you would be passing up. And what if its the men who are the messenger boys? And all those exalted women in heaven are just sitting around, eternally slender, eating bon bons and watching Oprah all eternity? Wouldn't that be to kill for? Come on! Then again, maybe that bumbling God you refer to will just have women spirits evaporate, since they aren't necessary and He can just make all those spirits from scratch at will, so you really don't need to worry about an afterlife anyway, Kiskililili.

5 comments

Kristen J said... @ January 26, 2006 at 9:49 AM

Bon bons I could do. Oprah...well is there going to be a choice on programs? I mean she's ok but I can only watch Tom Cruise jump on a couch so many times.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ January 26, 2006 at 9:59 AM

OK, OK, you can pick anything you want, it is Heaven you know.

Tracy M said... @ January 26, 2006 at 9:59 AM

Oprah? NOOOOOooooooo! If Oprah is involved, it's got to be some sort of purgatory or hell, certainly not heaven.... ANYTHING but Oprah!

Eve said... @ January 26, 2006 at 10:17 AM

You think these are bad, Snarkernacle, you should see our real names ;>

(Anyone want to have a contest to see who can say "Kiskiliili" faster than "Snarkernacle"?)

Lynnette said... @ January 26, 2006 at 10:37 AM

The thing is, I just couldn't decide whether I should go with Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, or Tirzah. Of course, I suppose "Noah" would be out, as I wouldn't want to be responsible for (gasp!) gender confusion, which I've heard is part of Satan's plan.

As long as all we've got about women in heaven is speculative nonsense, I definitely think we should encourage the CES (i.e. the well of undying speculative nonsense) to preach the eternal bon bon theory. ;)

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