Dear Snarky,

My wife is upset and I don't know why. I've tried to get on board with the whole feminist fad. I let her get a job and I don't have any problems with her making more money than I do. But now she is pregnant and is talking about going part time. I said that was fine and decided I would go part time too. When I told her she just flipped out and now I'm confused. Does she want us to be equals or not?

Tearful in Teaneck

Tearful Laddy,

Sure, she wants to be "equal", but equal in what way? Equal means different things to different people. I mean, she doesn't want to mathematically equal, she doesn't want to be identically equal, she doesn't want complete parity. What she really wants is to be able to do whatever she wants and not have any of her choices limited. If she wants to dress like a man and act like a man, she has to be allowed to do that, but also be allowed to dress like a woman too. Come now, Tearful, you don't really want to dress like a woman and wear makeup, right? No, of course not. So it isn't a matter of complete equity across the boards, its a matter of letting the woman do whatever she wants. If she wants to be as crass, rude, obnoxious and selfish as a man, then she is entitled to according to postmodern feminist theory.

And, remember, the woman always gets what she wants if the man is to get what he wants. Its all about quid pro quo, Tearful.

Aunt Snarky

P.S., Here is an old VS ad that wouldn't make it into print today. Things sure have changed.


Kristen J said... @ February 28, 2006 at 8:34 AM

When did you become such an expert on women?

Snarkimus Prime said... @ February 28, 2006 at 8:50 AM

My brief stint with Paris Hilton taught me a lot.

Susan M said... @ February 28, 2006 at 9:10 AM

LOL! It's rare that I laugh out loud at any on the internet these days. Thanks for that! Paris Hilton I mean.

Ian said... @ February 28, 2006 at 2:37 PM

Then perhaps it's true that, not only are women equal to men, but that women are more equal than men?

Anonymous said... @ March 1, 2006 at 8:26 AM

Maybe that's why so many guys today are in such a rush to "be more sensitive," "be fashion aware," and otherwise efeminize themselves.

They want it all too! And they think that if they act like girls, they might actually get it!

Seth R.

Steve EM said... @ March 1, 2006 at 9:19 AM

What happened to that S&M Army gal pic?

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