Julie M. Smith from Austin doesn't know what the Joseph Smith Translation is, but she certainly knows what it isn't! Its not what YOU think it is, because you are wrong! And, Julie will tell you why. On continues the saga of this T&S permabore's crusade against all things mundane and ordinary as she reinterprets the Bible to mean exactly the opposite of what it is saying. Topics in upcoming weeks will be:

    "Adam Fell, But Eve Rose to the Occasion"

    "Cain & Abel:It was Involuntary Manslaughter"

    "Noah's Ark is All Wet"

    "Hagar, Mother and Matriarch of Israel"

    "Lot's Four Daughters:Sadly Misunderstood Daughters of Virtue"

What else?


Anonymous said... @ February 17, 2006 at 10:55 AM

Ah, but maybe Julie M. Smith 's writing should also be understood as meaning the opposite of what THEY say, which would mean that the Bible means exactly what it says. Or something.

Kurt said... @ February 17, 2006 at 11:37 AM

You got it wrong on Cain and Able, as Julie would read it as Cain was framed for Able's suicide.

Anonymous said... @ February 17, 2006 at 12:05 PM

O Snarker, how do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

Thou cuttest down the mighty permabore,
Rewarding pomposity with malice and derision.
Though highlightest salaciouseth threads on FMH,
My plain-brown-wrapper "massager" arriveth sooneth.
Thou givest me something to do when bored,
Though thou distractest me from my real work as well.

O great is the work of the Snarker,
And merciless its harangue.
Its tongue is like a cloven serpent.
And great is the frequency with which it posteth,
For there is much bloggernacling in dire need of censure.

I love thee, O modern-day Wormwood.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ February 17, 2006 at 7:32 PM

Forsooth, thou embarassest me!

Anonymous said... @ February 18, 2006 at 1:34 PM

By my troth, he sayest well!

Anonymous said... @ February 18, 2006 at 1:47 PM

O Snarker, shall I compare thee to a permabore?
Thou art more entertaining and infintely more bearable.
Even a single unkind word doth shake the darling little permabores,
And a particularly dull thread's lease hath all too short a date (and iseth often closed to comments).
Sometime quite harsh ringeth thy condemnation,
And thus is the permabore's gold complexion dimm'd;
So long as the bloggernacle can breathe so eyes can see,
So long lives the permabore, and this gives life to thee.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ February 18, 2006 at 8:54 PM

o nonymous
thou are lyrical indeed
thine eye doth pierce
that which be obscured to most
and so with honor not least
i raise my glass in toast
to permabores whom i need
as do all of us

Stephen said... @ February 19, 2006 at 12:11 PM

See, you are driving people to poetry.

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