Much to everyone's chagrin, Kaimi Nate and Caroline will be representing the Nacle at Millers-Eccles. What the heck?. How in the world did this happen? Kaimi "metro bewbman brokeback crush on Rusty aspriring to write sensitively like Wilfried" Wenger, Nate "gardening gilbert & sullivan knockoff chest-beating Dialogue letter writing Puritan roots of home teaching" Oman, and Caroline "I hate the temple and love missionary hamsters" Kline are going to represent the Nacle?!?!?! How do they represent the Nacle?

Recent speakers have included Greg Prince, Richard Bushman, Richard Dutcher, Daniel Peterson, Teryl Givens, Philip Barlow, Todd Compton, and Armand Mauss.

Can someone please explain this to me? My poor little chihuahua brain is failing to comprehend how these three people in any way fall in line with these "recent speakers" and are qualified to represent the Nacle. Who was in charge of the recruiting? OK, Kaimi and Caroline live in Southern Cal where the meeting will take place, so that almost makes sense from simply a practical/convenience point of view. But Nate? NATE!?!? Its enough to make a chihuahua swear.

I propose we take up an immediate pledge drive to collect money to send someone who isn't...one of them...to go to this Millers-Eccles panel to represent us as something other than a bunch of bizarre, navel-gazing, self-absorbed wierdos. I mean, this is like having Prudence McPrude, Miranda Park-Jones, and Steve EM represent us. Did I mention I was about to start swearing?

Who should we, the Nacle, nominate to send to Millers-Eccles instead? Here are my three picks: Kristine Haglund Harris, Clark Goble, Kevin Barney. Three intelligent, thoughtful, people with long time connections to e-mormon life, who aren't an embarrasment. Who would you like to see go, instead of the present set?


Anonymous said... @ March 3, 2006 at 6:59 AM

How about Ronan and J Stapley?

DazzleSnark said... @ March 3, 2006 at 7:26 AM

Jeff Lindsay, or Geoff J.

Actually, would be quite entertaining to see Prudy on stage with a couple of virtual cross dressers.

Anonymous said... @ March 3, 2006 at 8:00 AM

a bunch of bizarre, navel-gazing, self-absorbed wierdos

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Susan M said... @ March 3, 2006 at 8:04 AM

Clark's a good choice.

Anonymous said... @ March 3, 2006 at 8:05 AM

Well, people should turn up and heckle . But to be fair, the 'nacle was "represented" by John Dehlin at Sunstone Seattle. Now, I love Big John D., but he ain't representative. So, whoever spoke would be annoying to some people. Maybe it's having TWO T&S-ers that grates. But Snarky, T&S is "the hub of the bloggernacle" so fair's fair, right?

Anonymous said... @ March 3, 2006 at 8:08 AM

Steve Evans

Steve EM said... @ March 3, 2006 at 8:29 AM

"..........this is like having Prudence McPrude, Miranda Park-Jones, and Steve EM represent us."

Hey, I may hide behind a handle to keep a calling, temple privileges and membership, but I'm real. But I suspect I can’t come out until we have ~30 million members at which point a stake will be driven through the heart of the Strengthening the Members committee, because an organization that big isn’t compatible with a rigid common belief system. Hey, I have five kids and have converted a number of people; you can’t say I’m not doing my part.

Steve EM, Evangelical Mormon and conscience of the Nacle

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 3, 2006 at 8:54 AM

If Steve EM is the "conscience of the Nacle", I am qutting the Nacle right now and never coming back.

Tracy M said... @ March 3, 2006 at 9:01 AM

Jeff Lindsay would be a great addition.

Eric Russell said... @ March 3, 2006 at 9:02 AM

I vote for Snarkernacle and Steve Evans, even though Steve has already anonymously nominated himself.

Sylvester Smith said... @ March 3, 2006 at 9:19 AM

No, I nominated Steve.

Steve EM said... @ March 3, 2006 at 9:43 AM

Snarkey, please don't go. You know I was just playing on my rep around here.

Oh, my biological child is LDS too, so I had a role with six spirits that I know of being born in the church. And antiprude was baptized last year (we need to get him married and into the procreation thing). In any case, no one can say I’m not actively doing my part to expand the church and accelerate the coming Mormon anarchy.

john scherer said... @ March 3, 2006 at 12:26 PM

I think Ed Enochs and Languatron might be available.

Anonymous said... @ March 3, 2006 at 1:23 PM

How is T&S at all like that speakers list? How about showing a few notes in brackets:

Recent speakers have included [former T&S guest blogger] Greg Prince, [former T&S guest blogger and T&S symposium participant] Richard Bushman, Richard Dutcher, [former T&S guest blogger] Daniel Peterson, [T&S 12Q participant] Teryl Givens, [T&S 12Q participant] Philip Barlow, [T&S interviewee] Todd Compton, and [T&S 12Q participant] Armand Mauss.

You're right, snarkey -- there couldn't be any less of a connection between that list and the bloggers speaking at Miller-Eccles .

Anonymous said... @ March 3, 2006 at 1:41 PM

"How about showing a few notes in brackets [blah blah begins]?"

you can always tell when the permabores comment. How pretentious.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 3, 2006 at 5:05 PM

Hey there, you pretentious anonymous permabore. You think that your being a permabore at the same blog that has actual for-real scholars guest blogging at or answering questions makes you somehow a legitimate scholar? Like it somehow rubs off by osmosis? Sorry, doesn't work that way. You two, Kaimi and Nate, simply don't fall into the same category as the rest of those people when it comes to scholarship. And, the idea of the two of you making some kind of scholarly presentation is just laughable. I hope Kaimi will take some of his alloted time to talk about his unrequited feelings for Rusty and his fascinations with breasts, and perhaps Nate can recite, in tune, his butchering of some Gilbert & Sullivan Pirate ditties. I am so sorry I will not be there to witness it firsthand, since I haven't fallen down on the floor laughing in far too long.

Heather O. said... @ March 3, 2006 at 6:02 PM

"You two, Kaimi and Nate, simply don't fall into the same category as the rest of those people when it comes to scholarship."

Give 'em time, Snarkums, give 'em time.

But despite the fact that I feel called upon, as always, to defend my husband's intellectual honor as well as everything else that is completely fabulous about him, I actually don't know why a bunch of intellectuals in LA give a hoot about what happens in the Bloggernacle, whether it be bewbs, gardens, Kristine's patriarchy issues, J. Stapley's food chemistry or Snarky's obvious obession with every single aspect of Kaimi's life (unless Mardell, you are on of the Snarkers. Wow, I hope not). I think an evening spent with Languatran would be much more fun, but hey, that's just me.

Heather O. said... @ March 3, 2006 at 6:08 PM

And, frankly Snarky, what you care who represents the 'Nacle?

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 3, 2006 at 6:49 PM

Heather, its touching that you think your husband is "fabulous", really it is. We wouldn't have it any other way.

What do we care? Personally, we don't. But, as the Snarker, we snark. It doesn't matter who got picked, we would snark them. I hope that makes some sense to you as you defend your husband's and Kaimi's sometimes rather silly online antics.

I don't know if Languatron is available, you might e-mail him and ask. I bet he would make time in his schedule to meet such up and rising scholars such as Kaimi and Nate.

Kaimi said... @ March 3, 2006 at 6:49 PM


Hmm. Nate and I are unworthy representatives, because we're not on par with Bushman and Givens. And you suggest, instead . . . Kristine and Clark and Kevin. Because, apparently, they are on par with Bushman?

Hey, I'm as much a fan of Clark and Kristine and Kevin as the next guy, but I wouldn't put them in Bushman's league. (Apparently, you do?)

There just aren't any regular nacle participants with a published track record like Bushman or Givens, Snarkey -- is this surprising? -- and this includes your own suggested alternate candidates.

Oh wait, my bad - here I am, expecting a coherent argument from a chihuahua. . .

Anonymous said... @ March 3, 2006 at 6:52 PM

I have always wondered what qualifications Nate had for his supposed expertise in "Mormon studies." Obviously none, but not a peep from the permabores when he pretends to have some.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 3, 2006 at 7:03 PM

Kaimi, you are hardly one to ask for rational and coherent arguments. The three candidates we offered up certainly are better able to offer up a representation of the Nacle that isn't...shall we say...as nutty? You and Nate are about as consistent and cogent in your presentation as we here at SN Industries are, which is to say, not at all. The three people suggested here are three who consistently present intelligent, thoughtful, coherent presentations and who eschew the kind of nonsense you and Nate embrace.

Right back in your face, Kaimi. How can you suppose anyone in the Nacle to expect a coherent argument from someone who mimics Wilfried, pretends he is hot for Rusty, and opines sex and bewbies when not blathering endless about weak analogies between random gospel principles and obscure points of legal code?

Anonymous said... @ March 3, 2006 at 7:27 PM

Nate Oman's Mormon Studies credentials are his parents.

Geoff J said... @ March 3, 2006 at 9:28 PM

Sheesh, if snarky weren't an avowed equal opportunity snarker I might suspect e had some sort of personal beef with Kaimi and Nate... What's up with that Snarky? Did they kick your dog... (wait, you're a chihuahua aren't you) ... did they kick you or something?

I think Kaimi and Nate will do a nice job representing the loose association of blogs and bloggers we call the bloggernacle. I don't know much about Caroline but I suspect she will do a fine job too.

Stephen said... @ March 3, 2006 at 9:46 PM

It doesn't matter who got picked, we would snark them

Which is the whole point of this blog, and part of what makes it endearing rather than noisome.

I gather that the number one qualification is being a law professor. Which means they've probably published some scholarship in there to go with the other credentials.

If you want to take the other side, you can always read Planet Law School ...

Anonymous said... @ March 3, 2006 at 9:49 PM

And all this time I thought it was the truthfulness of the Gospel that converts people....
"Hey, I have five kids and have converted a number of people"
Methinks that steve em deserves a whole seperate snark just for his huimility and modesty!

Heather O. said... @ March 3, 2006 at 10:56 PM

"Which is the whole point of this blog, and part of what makes it endearing rather than noisome."

Endearing? Did somebody just call the Snark team ENDEARING? It must be late, I should go to bed. Surely I'm hallucinating.

Heather O. said... @ March 3, 2006 at 10:59 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
NFlanders said... @ March 4, 2006 at 12:59 AM

This is a totally bizarre snark, Snarky. First of all, just because a "study group" has a pretentiously hyphenated name, doesn't mean it is anything more than a glorified book club. You are talking about it like it's the Mormon Olympics.

Secondly, if you want the bloggernacle to be represented as it actually is, Nate-Kaimi-Caroline are way too highbrow.

Thirdly, why do you have it in for Nate and Kaimi? In case you missed it, they are actually the nice ones over at Permaboria. Guess what? This is the bloggernacle: no one is a serious scholar, we're all half-assed armchair Leonard Arringtons. There's nothing wrong with that.

Those who can, publish. Those who can't, publish it on a blog.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 4, 2006 at 6:21 AM

Heather O.,

Have it in for Kaimi and Nate? Yeah, I guess if you don't take into account Aaron B. Cox, Steve EM, Dastardly Dave, Kontentious Kurt, TMILisa, Darth Beth, etc etc etc then, yes, you could say we have it in for Kaimi and Nate. Except that Nate hasn't been snarked much in awhile since he hasn't been posting. So, yes, Heather, we do quietly obsess about your fabulous husband day and night. At least as much as you two obsess about us.


None of us here at SN Industries LTD. had ever even heard of Miller-Eccles and had no idea what it was, so the post was initially a non-snark. I personally was struck by the rather pretentious insinuation Kaimi made by placing himself on par with those various scholars of note, but aside from that it was not snarkworthy. Then, we rec'd an e-mail from a regular contributor, one who always wishes to remain anonymous, expressing bitterness over the announcment and questioned the qualifications of those selected. The content of the e-mail was sufficiently snark-laden that we wrote it up into a post. When its a slow snarking day, you take what you can get.

So, there you have it, Naclerites. We here at SN Industries LTD don't give a flying dog turd about Millers-Eccles. We so snark people, and snark we will. You, the Nacle (aside from Heather O), want us here, and if you don't like us, then stop reading the blog. Its just that easy. Don't click the link. How hard is that? Hard for you, isn't Heather?


If you don't like it, then delist us. Forgive me for being snarky on the snarkernacle, but this is why we are here, to snark. Hence the name.

Anonymous said... @ March 4, 2006 at 10:34 AM


I think you have it all wrong. Most of the participants in the M-E group probably fall into the high priest demographic, they will be collecting social security with the decade. And everybody knows that high priests have a short attention span, then they fall asleep. Two or three minutes after the meeting starts, you can count on the sound of loud snoring.

So, who better to address this group than our own permabores? It is a perfect match. But the chance for fireworks still exists, because Caroline will probably start a long harangue about being the sole female on a panel of males. It has the possibility of being a real fanhitter.

Anonymous said... @ March 4, 2006 at 10:46 AM


Shhhh. It's okay. Shhhhh. Daddy's here. I'm going to hold a symposium just for you, okay? You're going to be the main speaker! Okay? There we go. Let Daddy see a smile. There it is! Good. Shhhh. I know. T&S is the leading blog, and they're all very smart, and that makes you feel dumb. But you're not! You're still smart to Daddy. Daddy loves your blog.

Daddy (Davis)

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 4, 2006 at 11:30 AM

Daddy (Davis),

They're all very smart? Thats both the funniest and stupidest comment anyone has posted in this thread so far.

Daddy-Davis, you're the proud father of a talking cartoon chihuhua, you know what that makes you? Think about it, smart guy.

Anonymous said... @ March 4, 2006 at 12:47 PM


I know, baby, I know. Daddy's here. Close your eyes and I'll scratch your back. You're funny. Shhhh. You're smart. Shhhh. Shhhhh.

Daddy (The Proud Father of a Chihuahua, Davis)

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 4, 2006 at 5:13 PM


Are you Davis Bell of the Millennial Black Hole?

Anonymous said... @ March 4, 2006 at 5:48 PM

The same. And I love you. Shhh.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 4, 2006 at 6:44 PM


It is entirely too easy to make fun of you, considering your awful M0 posts and everything besides that. Are you really that bored that you are painting a big red target on yourself like this? I would have thought that being the greatest lawyer in the Nacle would keep you busier than this, not to mention all the dates you must be racking up from your Nacle macking exploits.

Cross hairingly yours,

B. Snarker

Anonymous said... @ March 4, 2006 at 7:20 PM

Davis, that is too hilarious!! Truly one of the funniest things I have seen on this site. Brilliant. My, oh my, did you ever get the Snarker to come unhinged! Score for Davis! It is always nice when you get the Snarker to show her true colors, eh? Your soothing Snarker-Daddy comments are funnier than anything the chihuahua has ever come up with. Encore please.
And good luck to Kaimi and Nate- they will do a great job representing the nacle.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 4, 2006 at 7:37 PM

Davis, posting as "skl" to praise yourself is truly pathetic.

DKL said... @ March 4, 2006 at 7:49 PM

Davis Bell posing as my wife! LOL. That's a good one. You know from looking at the IP addresses that it's not Davis. If you're resulting to this kind of obfuscation, then Davis must have really gotten to you.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 4, 2006 at 8:42 PM

Dastardly Dave,

Its not possible to look at IP addresses in blogger, you dimwit. Since your wife usually posts as "DKL's Wife" and not "SKL" how am I supposed to know "SKL" is her, its not like she ever posts here as that. The comment was so cloyingly stupid, is it any wonder I thought it was fake? Funnier than anything we ever posted here? Whatever. Now that you have pointed out it is your wife, no wonder she said it, since she has to hate us and much as Heather O. Ah, isn't it always so much fun when women come to the defense of their men? Such manly men too.

As for Davis getting to me, not even. Davis is about as clever as you Dastardly, and about half as funny, which is to say, not at all. Anyone who presents himself as a daddy to a puppy is nothing but a dog himself and pretty much just a son of b. But, he was too dumb to recognize that, even though I pointed it out to him. But, hey, lawyers, what can I say?

But, DKL & SKL, we are so pleased that you all there at LDSdefected MoronMentality are still reading us. So flattering to have the creme de la creme of the Nacle among our readership. You'll be in the Giblets, so do keep up on that, you and SKL will be able to vote for you!

See you on the Nacle, Mr. & Mrs. Dastardly.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 4, 2006 at 8:48 PM

SKL (aka Dastardly's Wife),

Nice job grossly exagerating how clever Davis is, and getting in that brown nosing on Kaimi and Nate too.

What about Caroline? No praise and encouragement for her? What, since your husband isn't angling for a position on Exponent II you can ignore Caroline?

Yeah, just maintain those T&S relationships and grease the skids with some obsequious praise for them, and some derision for the enemies of the permabores. You go girl!

dclcd said... @ March 6, 2006 at 2:11 PM

Wow- snarky this post, aren't we?

An observer said... @ March 6, 2006 at 4:55 PM


You are very interesting to watch. You seem to demand the adulation, praise, and attention of people you clearly loathe and think are inherently stupid. And it seems you'll go to great lengths to get it. Odd.

You remind me of the Clintons. Ever thought of going into politics?

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 6, 2006 at 7:15 PM

An observer,

What leads you to believe we are not already in politics?

We demand the adulation, praise and attention of no one, not even you. NOW GET ON YOUR KNEES AND TELL US HOW COOL WE ARE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Aside from that, yes, we do demand that you worship us. Which is why we blog anonymously, so crazed devotees like you cannot stalk us.

An observer said... @ March 6, 2006 at 7:22 PM

The other thing I've noticed is that there are definitely different voices, which leads me to believe you are serious when you call yourself "Team Snarker". There's the shrill one, the one who just agrees with everybody to make that person look stupid, the one who just tells everybody outright that they ARE stupid, and then there is one voice that is actually pretty clever. Again, interesting to watch. Not really stalkworthy, to be sure, and I can't really figure out your motivation for all of this, but interesting, nevertheless. I smell a psychological dissertation in the making...

Snarkimus Prime said... @ March 7, 2006 at 6:57 AM

Shrill one: Observer! Shut UP! What are you trying to do?!?!? RUIN US!?!

The agreeable one: Observer, you are so so so right on the money. It would be impossible to be any more right than you. All day long.

The rude one: observer, you are so stupid.

Clever one:
Bustin out thick rhymes every day
inconceivable to have someone say
my macs aint clevah
dont let me hear nevah
that this doggie aint the best
cuz this doggie is the most fresh
he may drag his butt cross yo carpet
but you love it cuz he snarks it
you may hate him in his endeavah
but you gotta admit it, that dawg is clevah

Word up to your mother

Anonymous said... @ March 7, 2006 at 1:20 PM

The Snarker seems to be evidence for the truth of this argument.

Does the rise of this blog signal the impending implosion of the bloggernacle? The decline of T&S? Nothing at all?

Sarebear said... @ March 8, 2006 at 7:41 AM

Me! Oooh, Oooh, Ooh, pick me! (Said in my best Dory voice!)

Wait, what was it I was after?

After . . . glow! Yeah, that's right, I need a nap right about now . . . zzzzzz . . .

. . . zzzz . . . . Huh? What d'you want? Can't you see I'm sleeping, here?

Millers-Eggles? I do NOT want a beer-soaked omelet, thank you.

(Okay, so my sense of humor is on over, or is that under, -drive, this morning . . .)

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