Nacle Commercial Break: IBC's Mo-Man Laws

Dazzle and Shizzle recently returned from the film set of a new Bloggernacle advertisement. We noted two Nacle stalwarts starring in the clandestine meeting of... the Mo-Men!

Steve Young: Welcome everyone, to the Mo-Man Law discussion group. Ricky, care to read the minutes from our last meeting?

Ricky Schroder: Unanimously approved Mo-Man law #452, stating "After a child's head strikes the chapel pew, fathers must remove the child from the chapel prior to the child's second breath inhalation."

Young: Thanks, Ricky. I'd like to welcome our newest member, Nevada's Senator Harry Reid.

Harry Reid: Do ya feel lucky, punks?

Young: Easy there, Senator... You're in the club. No need to impress anyone.

Reid: Thanks, fellas.

Young: It's always nice to have a prominent politician amongst our ranks.

Reid: It's my pleasure.

Young: Uh, I was referring to Governor Huntsman.

Reid: ...

Jon Huntsman, Jr.: Anyone got change for a million? I want to get a Caffeine Free Diet Coke from the machine downstairs.

Reid: Brethren, we need to speak about a matter of utmost importance. Something that affects every Brother in this country, and in fact, much of the world. It's an undue hardship to be borne thanks to the penny-pinching member among us. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Ken Jennings: What are "Elders Quorum members moving a piano?" I'd like "Back Pain Remedies" for $500, Alex.

Michael McLean: Spoken like a true Elders Quorum president. If you can afford a piano, you can afford to pay someone to move it for you. It's unthinkable to have another man move your piano.

Rulon Gardner: Pianos ain't so bad. You guys are a bunch of soft wimps! Once you get them up on your back they're easy to move.

DKL: I hate those @$!*&% pianos.

Stephen R. Covey: Well put, DKL. I'm tired of moving other peoples' *@(!^%!%$ pianos, too.

Larry H. Miller: Pianos are the first thing loaded on the van, so the last thing to come off. You spend all day moving someone's crap into their house, and just when you're exhausted, you uncover the @$!*&% piano they didn't tell you about.

Jennings: What is, "Oops, didn't I tell you about the piano?" I'd like "Mormons are Cheapskates" for $800.

Donny Osmond: I propose a Mo-Man law. The "@(*%&!$* Piano Disclosure Law".

Young: Proposed Mo-Man law #453, "@(*%&!$* Piano Disclosure Law of 2006". Members requesting priesthood assistance to move must disclose any @(*%&!$* pianos they own. Legal counsel? I should note that Nate, the Mo-Man Chief Legal Counsel, was unable to make this meeting due to his new pointy-headed academic status.

Steve Evans: I think we need to clearly define what constitutes a "@(*%&!$* piano". Pianos should not be left to chance. Perhaps any musical instrument weighing over 50 pounds, or having a mean weight density greater than a #45 pail of cracked red wheat.

Young: So amended. All in favor?

Covey: I'll drink an IBC to that! Pass 'em around, gentlemen. Ricky, what's on the agenda for our next meeting?

Schroder: The next meeting shall address the concern "Does having the guys over to watch the BYU game count as a home teaching visit?"

Young: Thank you, brethren, for your work. This meeting is adjourned.