TftC Kage has singlehandedly developed a new form of birth control: bloggus interruptus. Her most recent post is so detailed it leaves absolutely nothing, and we do mean nothing, to the imagination. This is not for people of weak constitutions, so do not click this unless you are ready for an accouchement avalanche of totally euphemism-free gore (WARNING: do not visit immediately after eating or drinking, or if you are planning on having any children any time in the near future).
You know, you got to hand it to her, it isn't everyone who can suggest reading something by Jenny McCarthy with a straight face.
P.S., hey, Kage, you forgot a section on surviving your first post-pardum bowel movement. Get on it girl. We expect pics.
Snarked by
Response to Jodi Stoddard
6 comments
Accouchement - niiice! I learned a new word.
Snarkette, this wasn' totally euphemism-free. At least Kage had the good sense to say cootchie instead of something else, and believe me, with this post I was expecting the worst.
"You might want a tripod for your video camera. I regret that I don't have more of the birth....you can even point the camera away from you if you don't want the gory details, as long as you have the SOUND of birth, that makes for great background on a slideshow for a dvd later."
I am dumbfounded. Women who think this makes a great dvd also probably object to their husband's belching on the grounds that it is "gross".
snarkie, well I was GOING to post about pooping, but you have to draw the line somewhere.
and anon, I don't really mean the sounds of birth from the mother, more the crying when they come out and the joyous voices and tears that follow...that is a sweet background for some black and white photos of the new baby. Maybe I will make a little example video so that you see what I mean.
Anon,
Ah, yes, I stand corrected. And thank heavens for that. Although, to be perfectly honest, I prefer "cooter" to "cootchie".
Kage,
Honey, we love you. And I am glad you do draw the line somewhere, even if it is way off in the distance and can only be seen with a really nice pair of binoculars.
That was indeed much too graphic. Because heaven forfend that anyone should have information on what childbirth is like before they actually experience it. The Spirit will teach them everything they need to know.
I didn't even read the post. The picture of the placenta was MORE than enough for me, and I've given birth twice.
Info for your close family or friend should be given to them, not neccessarily foisted upon the rest of us(read:Move the pic to further on in the post so we don't have to look at it every time your site loads)
Hey- I think it's a cute little placenta!
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