'Mid liberal Bloggernacle he did dwell,
Warning Sunstoners they'll go to hell.
False doctrine by verse he did preach,
In his own image did he teach.
"The dove and whale become like one"
This makes no sense, but sound like fun,
A feathery, flying whale that weighs a ton.
"Saving masses and losing none"
Um, except Judas Iscariot and,
oh, yeah, perdition's son.
The orthodox, like Jettboy, truly follow the scriptures,
save composing verse, are released from it's strictures.
The second stanza is about Joseph Smith?
Or is it Eutychus, I know not which!
Meandering through windows, no tears shed?
What, oh what is in Jettboy's head!
Mysteries of the Universe laid bare for the Nacle,
A qualified art critic these problems he'll tackle.
A scholarly, well-read, master of prose,
writes poetry yielding nighmarish repose.
Snarked by
Response to Jodi Stoddard
6 comments
Wow, Snarkimus prime, you are truly a gifted poet. Heroic couplets, no less. And those images! I'm impressed. And your voice sounds like a real person/transformer/robot, not like someone who is trying really hard to be a poet. What I want to know is if the effort to write this poem caused an involuntary transformation into something you hadn't foreseen. In Milton's great "Paradise Lost" Lucifer plays at becoming a serpent and then cannot resist the transformation, try though he might. Don't write too much poetry, especially in heroic couplets, or you might find yourself transformed beyond your imaginings.
That's good advice for lots of poets.
Fear not, gentle reader, for I shall not transform into anything other than a tractor trailer.
I think that I shall never see,
a poem as lovely as me kicking Megatron's crankcase.
How is that for a heroic couplet?
Not quite. Read some Alexander Pope for instructions. Here's a re-write:
Fear not my transformations,
gentle reader,
For I am metal, unable to be
a breeder.
I find no romance in a blogger's words,
And transpose silly prose to
Fertils turds.
I meant FERTILE turds.
I must say, your metrical consistency is better than most of my students'.
A kid's friend officially introduced me to transformers at lunch on Saturday. I successfully turned a truck into a robot guy thingmajig, albeit it took me 15 minutes and it took the child 2 seconds. Nifty toy.
Janet--you will find it gets worse and worse. I have no idea how to download music onto an MP3 player, I have no sense of how an I-Pod works, and several weeks ago my son said, "I feel dumb sometimes, but then I think about Mom, and she can't do anything." All of this awaits you as you raise Jr.
And you always wrote great poems for me, btw.
Snarkimus Prime--my husband has written about the temptation of blogging, now that he has been exposed to it. Link: www.faceofother.blogspot.com .
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