Everyone Except Steve Evans Lives Under a Rock

Being hip is hard. You have to find all this totally obscure, independent film, music and art and then lord it over all your philistine friends and coworkers as a coolness filter. And, of course, what you find cannot suck, or your hipster cred will be shot. Fortunately for Steve, he does not suck (just ask him), as evidenced by his highly evolved and fabulously uber-savvy definition of Hipness:


1) Read Michael Allred's comics,
2) Watch Patton Oswalt's films and comedy,
3) Listen to Irish folk rockers Swell Season, and implicitly listen to NPR and see the movie Once.

If you have not met these criteria, you "live under a rock."


Everyone else is a centipede or roly poly bug, which makes it hard to get to the movies, read comic books or listen to Irish music. Kind of circular logic there, but us bugs cannot think that hard.

Actually, I do not think Steve's criteria are fair. Here is a better one:

1) Defeat the Decepticons, aka Blogging Mormons
2) Be comfortably endomorphic
3) Not be a lawyer

Now that is really cool, Fonzie cool. Oh, and look, Steve has been demoted to a sightless, albino troglodyte. How does it feel, trendmaster?