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Hey everyone, I know you don't see much of me around the Bloggernacle, since none of you bother to listen to me (except for Bloggers of Jared, M&M, Jettboy, Connor Boyack, and M* Mark Butler), but a recent post needs to be addressed so you Liahona types don't wander totally off the straight and narrow path and drown in the filthy water.

Jacob at NCT is kinda sort of right but mostly wrong. While I am under strict non-disclosure agreements and cannot discuss what he does in his spare time, I can fairly state the obvious to bring it to people's attention that his Scriptures have been collecting dust for far too long. If they saw more use, he might have read this and this, which would have made it pretty clear I am not just effervescent vapor that people subjectively feel at their convenience.

No, I am a personage of spirit that has legs (no, there are no wings, sorry literalists, but this fine and pure matter I am made of means what you call "gravity" has no effect on me) and uses them whenever I see the need. And, as far as leaving the movie theater when the naughty bits parts come on, no, that is not how it works. I am clever and informed enough to not go in the first place, so I don't leave, because I was never there in the first place. Dropping the F-Bomb? Feel free to exercise your agency, and I will too by leaving you to play the fool. So, yes, people and things do offend me all the time, and I leave. I have agency just like you. So, there you have it.

Yes, yes, I will certainly work with all repentant sinners, like you bloggers, but there is that repentant thing there. Yes, sure, I do try to encourage even the unrepentant to repent, but, frankly, I have a busy schedule and can spend my time much more profitably working with people who are genuinely repentant, even when they do fall off the wagon now and again. As long as they keep getting back on.

Anyway, just to set things straight, I am a personage of spirit, if you irritate me I will get up and go, or preemptively leave in the event I see things going bad. But, no, that doesn't mean I will not come back and see what you are up to from time to time. And, no, I am not like the sun radiating truth into the universe, that analogy is lousy. The "truth is light" thing is metaphor, don't push it to hard, it was given to people who had no idea what the physics of light really is all about.

Thanks, and please, next time I suggest you do something, listen. Otherwise, you are on your own.

P.S., Oh, yes, and Jacob, the Lord doesn't lie, under any circumstances. Mahonri got it right. You? Not so much.

12 comments

Anonymous said... @ October 22, 2007 at 5:58 PM

Funny, I always thought the spirit would know how to spell, and would be less sarcastic.

Is there a penalty listed in the scriptures for impersonating or falsifying the spirit?

Snarkimus Prime said... @ October 22, 2007 at 7:35 PM

I think the penalty is the same as that for reading the SnarkerNacle without a sense of humour. In other words, you are just another bitter whiner who is irritated they got snarked.

Jack "Marlboro Man" Mormon said... @ October 22, 2007 at 10:50 PM

I'm still waiting for the second coming of Mark Butler at Mtsar. Now THAT would propel them back to the number one spot at the eye of Horus!!

Anonymous said... @ October 23, 2007 at 12:35 PM

Nice. That Jacob J is a real douchebag who has had it coming for a long time. I'm glad to see him getting his @$$ handed to him by the spirit.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ October 25, 2007 at 5:33 PM

Congratulations anonymous profane scum, you reek of the hypocrisy you accuse me of.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ October 26, 2007 at 1:59 PM

"cmoore", you are a lying, profane, degenerate, thread-jacking troll. Take the sacrament on Sunday wallowing in your self-righteous indignation.

FMH, BCC and T&S are all loaded with self-promoting jerks who are as intolerant and hypocritical as you are. Someone has to call them on it. And that someone is us. If you don't like it, that is just too bad, we aren't going to stop.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ October 26, 2007 at 7:44 PM

Well, "cmoore", congratulations on at least being honest enough with yourself and with us to admit you are what you really are. That is the first step to recovery.

As for everyone being people, yes, all of our targets are people. And when the T&S, BCC and FMH permabores attack, demean, slander and harass people, those people are people too. But, that doesn't matter to you, since you just hate us.

You want us to stop doing what we do? Then get those people you are defending to stop doing what they do. If they didn't do what they do, then there wouldn't be anything to snark, now would there? If everyone actually lived what the Gospel teaches, then there wouldn't be any SnarkerNacle.

As for editing your comments, that is impossible as Blogger does not allow administrators to do that. This isn't Wordpress or Typepad. So until you can post comments without profanity, they will be deleted.

Have a nice night.

cmoore said... @ October 26, 2007 at 8:30 PM

You know something? My swearing was uncalled for, and I am not normally the swearing type. And I am somewhat degenerate, lying and profane. And on your blog, I am exhibiting trollish behaviours. You are right, so good for you and your wonderful perception.

But your blog and posts are so over-the-top brimming full of self-righteous holier-than-thou arrogance in your self-serving appointment as judge, jury and executioner of the "bloggernacle" that I can't think of another way to respond after years of watching you pick on people.

The people at BCC, T&S, FMH and elsewhere are just people, like you and me, who are expressing their opinions. We may disagree with them, but there is no use or benefit gained in ridiculing. It just makes people angry or hurts their feelings, or both. Maybe some who are like you enjoy a cheap little laugh at their expense, but what you are doing is far removed from what the gospel requires of us. I freely acknowledge that I am even lower than you, and perhaps more hypocritical too, as far as that goes, because I get excited and cuss and swear at you because of it. But lower than you cannot possibly be much lower.

Your attempt to "shine a mirror back at the bloggernacle" is nothing more than mocking fellow latter-day saints and, in some cases unfortunately, smacking down further the hands that already droop.

You are pathetic, mean-spirited (I admit I am more so and I recognize like-minded people), and cold-hearted. Would you post the stuff that you do about people if you thought your bishop, or even your wife, would be reading it? Of course, someone like you probably marries from the gutter as well in terms of sensibility to other peoples' feelings and general kindness, so perhaps your wife would see no problem with what you are doing either.

I fully acknowledge and embrace my pathetic-ness as a part of humanity, but but you seem not to know and/or not to care how pathetic this blog makes you.

I see no reason why people should stop blogging about things that are near and dear to them, things they wonder about, and things they want feedback on just to appease your joint intolerance. At least they are trying to understand rather than just beating down.

Do you not see how much you are hurting people? CAN YOU REALLY NOT SEE IT?!?!? Stop already!!!

Snarkimus Prime said... @ October 27, 2007 at 4:38 AM

Hey, "cmoore", congratulations again on your first post that does not contain profanity. That must have been a real strain for you.

Since most of your comment is just a bunch of petty accusations, I will ignore it. However, the last two paragraphs contain the kernel of what you are trying to accomplish, so I will respond to that.

Your complaint in those last two paragraphs is the identical complaint that has been leveled at us from the start of the blog. And I will give you the same reply I give all of the other whiners. The Bloggernacle is full of self-promoting jerks who do not play fair. The notion they are honest enquirers with pure motives, as you suggest, is ridiculous. The bloggerncle is full of people like you who think the rules only apply to people they don't like or who don't agree with them. Sorry, that just isn't the case. The rules apply to everyone, all the time. And sometimes the only way to take people to task for acting like idiots, people like you, is off on another blog. Why? Because self-promoting idiots, such as yourself and the people you are defending, have zero tolerance for criticism and will not permit people to comment anything negative on their blogs. So, they delete their comments, badger and ban them. Which is precisely what you see happening frequently on FMH, BCC and T&S. If someone fails to toe the line, they are hammered. SnarkerNacle responds to this type of behavior by providing negative feedback for it in an open forum.

If you want SnarkerNacle to end, then tell all of those blogging narcissists to open up to fair criticism and stop being such petty, self-involved egomaniacs who have to ban and attack people for no other reason than having a different opinion. If you want to protect this kind of behavior at FMH, BCC and T&S (and elsewhere), then you are part of the problem.

They are using their positions of power in the Bloggernacle to promote their positions, silence critics and exclude people who do not agree with them. What they are doing is wrong. Blogging is supposed to be about openness, and the Bloggernacle is supposed to be about openness. Instead, it is about the egos and particular positions of a handful of petty, selfish people. People like you.

cmoore said... @ October 27, 2007 at 5:50 AM
This comment has been removed by the author.
cmoore said... @ October 27, 2007 at 5:56 AM

"Positions of power" in the bloggernacle?!? Are you kidding? That's ridiculous! What positions of power could there possibly be in a cobbled together online aggregation of personal LDS blogs, some of which just happen to be run by LDS people?

Oh, well. Guess you have it all figured out and you are better than anyone. Well, if you will continue in spite of knowing that you are inflicting real harm on real people, then I guess that says more about you than just about anything else.

Carry on then in your mean, heartless behavior. See where it eventually gets you. The excuse that "they do it too" won't carry you far, I'm afraid, when you face what you believe is your maker.

Of course, you may just be like me, who doesn't believe any of this malarkey about God and Jesus anyway (at least I admit it rather than pretending to believe, like you obviously do). In which case, there are still basic maxims of kindness that should be followed independent of religion.

Either way, you are warped, wrong, and untrue to what you claim to believe in, and the fact that "they are doing it too" is unhelpful.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ October 27, 2007 at 7:45 PM

"cmoore",

You are a whacko. We are committing "real harm" to people? Yup, sure, we are, beating them mercilessly, viciously lacerating them, and jabbing their eyes out with red hot irons. Call the cops on us.

Wow, you are brave enough to anonymously admit you don't believe in Jesus and God. Now that takes real chutzpah. No, sorry, we here at SN are active in the LDS Church and we do actually believe all that stuff, which explains why we find the Bloggernacle in general so irritating so often.

In case you haven't noticed, we don't care what you think, so if you want to keep ranting like an unhinged nutter, feel free. Just don't use profanity.

Rock on, bilious dancer on your deranged atheistic quest for morality in conduct among Mormons.

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