| 30 comments ]

The clique that runs Bloggernacle Times (i.e., all of the Nalce old-timers) wants you to vote them the coolest and most hip dudes (emphasis on DUDES, since they are all a bunch of guys, how about some ladies, huh?!?) around. So, never fear my good and gentle readers, here is your chance to snub the Nacle Upper Crust with the SnarkerNacle Tragically Unhip Hipster Ironic AntiAwards 2005

1) Highest Quality, and Therefore Most Ignored, blog:
2) Most Interesting, and Therefore Most Likely to Sell Out, Small Blog:
3) Most Sold Out blogger, Least Likely to Wear Black:
4) Least Edgy, and Therefore Most CES Correlated, Commentator:
5) Most Awesome Blog, Therefore Likley to be Corrupted by Fame:
6) Most Incisive Post, Dragged Into the Depths of Despair by Inane Comments:
7) Least Self-Absorbed Egocentric Thing About the Nacle in 2005:
8) The One Thing That Nearly Killed the Nacle for Me in 2005:
9) Indier Than Thou:
10) Painfully Absent, Am Cutting Self Due to Their Absence:
11) Most Likely to Start a Blogcast or Vlog or Splog, Just Cuz its Hip:
12) Add Your Own Passing Moment of Irony or Ennui:

Post your entries. This is where the voting happens. Winner of each category gets the right to revel in their moment of bitter un-indy infamy.

P.S. The Bloggernacle Snarker wants to thank all of people who nominated the Snarkernacle for various kewl things there at BT. Frankly, we are surprised, and a little embarrased. We knew people were coming for a look and having some laffs at other's expense, but we really didn't think people actually liked us. We figured it was one of those rubberneckers driving past a car wreck things, you know you shouldn't look, but you just cannot help it. But, alas, now that we actually have fans who like us, we will tragically succumb to the imminent pressures of maintaining our high standards of quality on break-neck deadlines, and therefore collapse under the weight, crushed into a microscopic pinpoint of a black hole that sucks the entire Nacle in with it. Oh, cool. Hey, so lets have some fun while it lasts.

30 comments

Crystal said... @ December 8, 2005 at 5:33 AM

) Highest Quality, and Therefore Most Ignored, blog: Mine, of course.


2) Most Interesting, and Therefore Most Likely to Sell Out, Small Blog: New Cool Thang

3) Most Sold Out blogger, Least Likely to Wear Black: hmmm, Kaimi?

4) Least Edgy, and Therefore Most CES Correlated, Commentator: Eric Russell

5) Most Awesome Blog, Therefore Likley to be Corrupted by Fame: The Thang, again

6) Most Incisive Post, Dragged Into the Depths of Despair by Inane Comments: Anything at the Blather of Heathens

7) Least Self-Absorbed Egocentric Thing About the Nacle in 2005: When bloggers post about their children


8) The One Thing That Nearly Killed the Nacle for Me in 2005: Homework

9) Indier Than Thou: Is this supposed to be good? lol. LDSLF

10) Painfully Absent, Am Cutting Self Due to Their Absence: Steve Evans

11) Most Likely to Start a Blogcast or Vlog or Splog, Just Cuz its Hip: I would have said Steve Evans, but the blood from my arms is evidence that he's not an option, so I'll go with Geoff J.


12) Add Your Own Passing Moment of Irony or Ennui: All the flack DKL took for not putting on sack cloth and ashes over the whole BoH thing. Good for him! Don't bend to the pharisees! ;o)

Zardoz said... @ December 8, 2005 at 6:12 AM

First of all, Snarker, congrats on all your nominations over at BT. It really is remarkable since you aren't on the MA homepage, which I think drives most of the bloggernacle traffic. Kudos!

You are so going to sell out now.

(By the way, I will nominate anonymously like I did over at BT to avoid getting caught snubbing people.)

1) Highest Quality, and Therefore Most Ignored, blog: The Wasp

2) Most Interesting, and Therefore Most Likely to Sell Out, Small Blog: Rusty's 9M

3) Most Sold Out blogger, Least Likely to Wear Black: Everyone at T&S. Their Bushman series is painful to read.

4) Least Edgy, and Therefore Most CES Correlated, Commentator: too many to mention, BBell, Guy Murray, Eric Russell, Daniel Peterson, Mike Parker

5) Most Awesome Blog, Therefore Likley to be Corrupted by Fame: How is this different from most interesting? I'll say the Snarker is most likely to be corrupted by fame, accepting pay-offs to NOT snark on people.

6) Most Incisive Post, Dragged Into the Depths of Despair by Inane Comments: this category was created for 9M's "Monsters"

7) Least Self-Absorbed Egocentric Thing About the Nacle in 2005: People helping out on other people's blogs, like Stapley and Rusty.

8) The One Thing That Nearly Killed the Nacle for Me in 2005: M*

9) Indier Than Thou: Mormon Metaphysics, because it is invariably impenetrable.

10) Painfully Absent, Am Cutting Self Due to Their Absence: Steve! But I draw the line at cutting your name in my arm with a fountain pen.

11) Most Likely to Start a Blogcast or Vlog or Splog, Just Cuz its Hip: M* will totally start a RightCast.

12) Add Your Own Passing Moment of Irony or Ennui: Fawning praise of DKL on T&S. Get a room already, sheesh.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ December 8, 2005 at 6:42 AM

zardoz, what are you talking about, I already sold out. But, that is nothing. I am going to sell the Snarkernacle on Ebay to the highest bidder, just you wait.

Zardoz said... @ December 8, 2005 at 6:51 AM

I'd rather you auction off your true identity to the highest bidder.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ December 8, 2005 at 7:24 AM

That would be part of the package.

Also included is DKL's DNA sample proving he was Hitler, autographed photos of Cain and Kishkumen from when they were intereviewed here, a copy of the Cease & Decist order 9M was slapped with over the Obey Aaron copyright infringement, an autographed "I Want to Believe" poster, an audiotape of Nephi whispering from the dust to kick Ned's curelom, and last, but not least, a mint Lindor truffle from TMILisa's stash.

What would you pay for it?

Crystal said... @ December 8, 2005 at 7:29 AM

$1

Stephen said... @ December 8, 2005 at 7:45 AM

Good point zardoz.

We figured it was one of those rubberneckers driving past a car wreck things, you know you shouldn't look, but you just cannot help it. But, alas, now that we actually have fans who like us, we will

Actually, the Snarkernacle is funnier than that. Car wrecks I see enough of.

My current bet is that this is a joint Steve Evans/DKL channeling the spirit of OPR blog ...

Snarkimus Prime said... @ December 8, 2005 at 8:10 AM

Um, Crystal, shouldn't you be studying for a final or something?

Stephen, enough with the bad guesses already! Alright? OK, that is it. You are right. Its Steve and David. There are you happy?

NFlanders said... @ December 8, 2005 at 9:17 AM

$2

a random John said... @ December 8, 2005 at 10:11 AM

$10!

Ha!

In Massachusetts last year Carly Simon auctioned off the knowledge of who "You're So Vain" is really about for charity. The winner had to agree to not reveal the answer.

Of course Steve Evans has offered up the identity of the Snarker to me for the price of a lunch. This would be a good deal assuming he has it. Then again, we all know what happened last time I tried to buy info from him for a lunch...

Snarkimus Prime said... @ December 8, 2005 at 10:37 AM

Thats because Steve Evans IS the Snarker. Duh!

I dunno. Throw on some more zeros and I may just sell out.

Susan M said... @ December 8, 2005 at 11:23 AM

We all know "You're So Vain" is about Mick Jagger.

NFlanders said... @ December 8, 2005 at 11:33 AM

How could Mick Jagger possibly be vain? He's the second-ugliest human alive (thanks, Keith Richards).

Clark Goble said... @ December 8, 2005 at 1:16 PM

What does "indier" mean?

Anonymous said... @ December 8, 2005 at 2:11 PM

13) Best Categories for Blog Awards: Snarkernacle

To me, the Snarkernacle is like a warm patch of sunlight on the carpet on a cold, snowy day. Except that the Snarkernacle does not necessarily contain a lounging, extremely happy cat.

FHL

Kim Siever said... @ December 8, 2005 at 2:58 PM

Ditto on the Best Categories for Blog Awards: Snarkernacle

Snarkimus Prime said... @ December 8, 2005 at 5:26 PM

Clark, see this, or listen to this.

Kristen J said... @ December 8, 2005 at 9:21 PM

1) Highest Quality, and Therefore Most Ignored, blog: mormon wasp

2) Most Interesting, and Therefore Most Likely to Sell Out, Small Blog: snarkernacle

3) Most Sold Out blogger, Least Likely to Wear Black: Times and Seasons

4) Least Edgy, and Therefore Most CES Correlated, Commentator:one of those Bell guys

5) Most Awesome Blog, Therefore Likley to be Corrupted by Fame: The Thang!
6) Most Incisive Post, Dragged Into the Depths of Despair by Inane Comments: Porn and Marriage
7) Least Self-Absorbed Egocentric Thing About the Nacle in 2005: the entry of kristen j upon the nacle scene
8) The One Thing That Nearly Killed the Nacle for Me in 2005: bannergate
9) Indier Than Thou: kristen j
10) Painfully Absent, Am Cutting Self Due to Their Absence: I would feel this way if kristen j left
11) Most Likely to Start a Blogcast or Vlog or Splog, Just Cuz its Hip:snarkperson
12) Add Your Own Passing Moment of Irony or Ennui:

Stephen said... @ December 8, 2005 at 9:29 PM

Stephen, enough with the bad guesses already! Alright? OK, that is it. You are right. Its Steve and David. There are you happy?

No ... the whole point of guessing is to be wrong. What about the channeling? You can't tell me you really write these posts without a ouija board, and that means when the two of you get together you have to be channeling something.

Used to have a partner who channeled Jack Daniels. Worked rather well for him. Not that I'd suggest it, mind you.

Anyway, this is too much fun thinking you might actually be a Snark Critter who manages to post.

That's why I make the same guesses rather than working off a word print match in editor mode. I don't want to figure out who or what you really are, other than someone whose humor is steadily getting better and whose blog deserves the nominations it is getting.

Best,

Stephen

Ann said... @ December 8, 2005 at 9:54 PM

Am I the only one who doesn't WANT to know who the snarker is? I'm happy just thinking of some anonymous soul who never comments, with insights beyond compare, slicing us all to bits. I'll tell you what, I bid $20 for all that stuff, but only if you DON'T tell.

I really want that poster, too. My son has one that he uses as his wallpaper on our PC.

Ann said... @ December 8, 2005 at 9:54 PM

No votes. I'm too out of the loop.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ December 9, 2005 at 7:47 AM

Stephen, OK, OK, I admit it. I am Jack Daniels.

Ann, thanks! You rock. Someone finally understands what we are trying to do here.

Stephen said... @ December 9, 2005 at 5:03 PM

Ahh, that explains the red eyes and ears ;)

Timothy said... @ December 9, 2005 at 6:56 PM

Crystal for the most blatant use and misuse of sex to get readers on her blog.

Hands Down

Sarebear said... @ December 9, 2005 at 11:59 PM

) Highest Quality, and Therefore Most Ignored, blog: Pie-Bolar! It's yummy, have some! (I'm manic today, please excuse me! And the excess of !!!!! cause I just can't help it !!!!!!!) Hee. Guess I just snarked myself . . . . sounds obscene!
2) Most Interesting, and Therefore Most Likely to Sell Out, Small Blog: PIEBOLAR, already, damn you! (Ok, entering the agitated mania phase . . . .)
3) Most Sold Out blogger, Least Likely to Wear Black: piebolar. cause I'm so embarassed I spent all our money when I was manic, I have to sell out for the $$$.
4) Least Edgy, and Therefore Most CES Correlated, Commentator: Me. Sarebear. This one probably is NOT funny, but wth: I need to stay away from knives, since I cut myself from time to time, so I need to be the least edgey. Bad one, huh? Bad judgement, brought to you by . . . . ok, down girl . . .
5) Most Awesome Blog, Therefore Likely to be Corrupted by Fame: I'm also kinda paranoid, so I know I'll never be famous. Teehee!
6) Most Incisive Post, Dragged Into the Depths of Despair by Inane Comments: Any of mine, that include comments by any of me, in any of my moods. Cause I suck. (Now in depressed phase of bipolar . . . ) I haven't been diagnosed as multiple personality yet, but you never KNOW . . . . (paranoia showing up again . . .) TeeHee!
7) Least Self-Absorbed Egocentric Thing About the Nacle in 2005: Not me. Learned last week from a book that I may be a closet narcissist. Teehee! Plus, I really like that that Toby Keith Song, "I Wanna Talk About ME!"
8) The One Thing That Nearly Killed the Nacle for Me in 2005: Trying to read through one of Nate Oman's posts.
9) Indier Than Thou: Er, me again?
10) Painfully Absent, Am Cutting Self Due to Their Absence: Well, at first I wanted to protest in outrage at the category, considering my struggles with the issue, but I'll just have to get over my secret crush on S.E. (woops!) by popping Jolly Ranchers, continuously. They're, like, solid Jello!
11) Most Likely to Start a Blogcast or Vlog or Splog, Just Cuz its Hip: Me. Cause I'm OCD, and I just haveta.
12) Add Your Own Passing Moment of Irony or Ennui: My nomination of myself on the BT nomination thread as the best blog that looks like Snarker blog that copied the scheme 1 month before Snarker debuted.

Sarebear said... @ December 10, 2005 at 12:24 AM

If you need to edit #4, I understand. Impulsive, that's another one o' my achilles heels. With all these heels, no wonder my feats, hurt. (Cause my humor can be really painfully bad, sometimes!)

Crystal said... @ December 10, 2005 at 7:16 AM

Hey, who invited the Catholic anyway?

Bad, Tim!

(You sexy thing. Go to my room! Errr... my blog!)

Timothy said... @ December 11, 2005 at 4:21 PM

See? Sex and her blog...again

Last Lemming said... @ December 12, 2005 at 10:21 AM

Most Incisive Post, Dragged Into the Depths of Despair by [Lack of] Comments:

Santa Claus is Biblical! by Jordan Fowles. Ho, Ho indeed.

Stephen said... @ December 20, 2005 at 4:36 PM

Ok, time for the Snarkernacle polling to pick up ... it is almost time for the awards and the counterawards.

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