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AAARRGHHH! Nothing makes me angrier than whited sepulcher mote pickers who ought to mind their own business, because we all know that avoiding the appearance of evil doesn't really mean not looking like you are doing something evil but that you should get out of evil's way before it arrives, right? YEAH! So, we can look evil all we want, as long as we aren't actually doing evil!

Ha! I am going to teach those Iron Rodders a lesson by baiting them and then slapping them in the face with their superficial judgements based on appearances. Plan of action checklist:

Drink Clausthaler when the missionaries come over for dinner, and stop at all Starbucks in town, especially the one in the stripmall the Bishop's wife grocery shops at, for Caramel Apple Ciders, but ask them to put it in a regular coffee cup.

Carry pack of fake ciggies in purse and conspiculously wear some sort of transdermal patch that looks like a Nicoderm CQ. Also, get a roach clip and keep it on keychain and dangle it conspicuously in front of people whenever getting in and out of car or using church keys. Most Mormons probably wouldn't get it, but the ones who had strayed off the straight and narrow might, and sometimes those are the ones most eager to find fault with others.

Get conspicuous Henna tattoo, but make it religious, just to make them think twice.

Put multiple clip on ear rings, like two in one ear and four in the other, and a couple of nose rings. Cuz if they aint pokin holes in my body, then its still a temple, right?

Hurrrrmmmm...what else, what else?

5 comments

Ann said... @ February 9, 2006 at 9:14 AM

Snark, honey, if you were to start dangling a roach clip on a keychain conspicuously in front of me, you would be my new best friend.

Do you have Tim Horton's where you are? Tim's is doing a beverage called a "hot smoothie," which is a coffee-less hot drink that has cool flavors like vanilla hazelnut. And they put it in a regular coffee cup, so you won't look like a pretentious yuppie coffee drinker, but like a SERIOUS "I love good coffee but why on earth would I pay $3? I have a brain!" coffee drinker.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ February 9, 2006 at 11:52 AM

Ann, 420, eh?

Ann said... @ February 9, 2006 at 8:34 PM

Baby, you are WAY more hip to the drug culture lingo than ancient, conformist little old me. I had to google the term.

You would be my new best friend because if you had such an accessory, it would indicate enormous self-confidence, and probably major NOMishness. I'm always on the lookout for real-life NOMs.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ February 10, 2006 at 6:39 AM

Ann, there are more NOMs around that you think.

Steve EM said... @ February 10, 2006 at 8:11 AM

I remember someone suggesting a tattoo version of Gs after I posted about not wearing them in hot weather.

And missionaries riding bikes w/ a tie and helmet look gay and some sister missionary teams are a tad dyky.

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