| 27 comments ]



H8 to be statin the obvious all crass and rude,
but the Nacle's fulla nrrdy white grrls and dudes.
Yo the Bloggernacle is so Nrrrdy and White,
Edgy fo da womyns is all diapers n shite.
Deez girls hardcore, down with da homeschoolin'
Yeah, you're holier than us, but dats no foolin.
The least haole guy in the Naccle is Hawaiin,
but he's fetchin dang nrrrdy without even tryin.
Mormon Stories once interviewed a guy that ain't white,
but John compensates bein left wing and uptight.
Napoleon Dynamite's bro Kip looks like my hubby,
all their kids watch PBS, Hey Arthur, yo Teletubbie.

Naccles so Nrrdy, Nrrdy and White,
Blogger.com won't let me post, caint sleep tonight.
Naccles so Nrrdy, Nrrdy and White,
Martin Mull, Mayo, Mashed potatos, das right!

Hawt doctrine on tap, supa def jam flow,
McConkie be damned, I'm the man in the know.
My man MittRom is going straight to the top,
Bills dreamin of interns, Hillary tell him to stop.
J's got style, he fronts da Naccle da best,
Cept for 9M, who's fonts are so fresh.
Aw, yeah, Save as Draft, so I don't lose da edits,
Gotta switch to WordPress and blog on its credits.
Must choose sides, which clique I'm on,
Get onto a team blog before I'm gone.
Anglin for ByCommon, so I'll drop me a mine,
Badmouthin W, Word up that guys a swine!

Naccles so Nrrdy, Nrrdy and White,
DKL and DP flamewar, so no sleep tonight.
Naccles so Nrrdy, Nrrdy and White,
Donny O., Fluffy pufft, yum Meringue, outta sight!



W3rd up y'all, send in your own lyrics and them greenbeenz cazzarolex recipes and we'll get bizzyo.

27 comments

Anonymous said... @ September 25, 2006 at 8:17 AM

How long did this clever piece take you to compose? Read your scriptures today?

Snarkimus Prime said... @ September 25, 2006 at 8:28 AM

Ha ha, some hypocritical jerk who reads us criticizes us for wasting time blogging instead of reading the Scriptures. Um, why are you reading this blog instead of your Scriptures, oh holy one?

Don't you idiots get it? You sit there and critize us for being bitter and angry, and you are bitter and angry. Awesome. Keep up the good work.

P.S., this one didn't take long at all. It was pretty easy.

Anonymous said... @ September 25, 2006 at 8:35 AM

Yep, you nailed it!!

Crystal said... @ September 25, 2006 at 10:31 AM

Aww, you noticed... ;)

I'm not actually gone. I just have a non-Nacle blog now, seeing as how I'm all apostate anyway.

Crystal said... @ September 25, 2006 at 10:35 AM

Oh, and where did you get that picture of me? I thought I had it burned.

Anonymous said... @ September 25, 2006 at 10:39 AM

Snarkette, were you the type of person when you were younger who made fun of "nerds", stuffed them into lockers, etc., and basically made other peoples' lives a living hell? Sounds like you....

Snarkimus Prime said... @ September 25, 2006 at 10:56 AM

Crystal,

Of course we noticed. You are one of our long-time faves. Be a good girl and do give us the new linky.


Dear Anonymous Troll,

Yes, I was the Cheerleading Team Captain who dated the Football Quarteback. We were the Homecoming King and Queen. I was the valedictorian, and my parents are rich, rich, rich. I drove a black fully restored 1969 Jaguar XKE to high school. I crushed losers like you beneath the heel of my Louis Vuitton boots. And I enjoyed every minute of it. If that makes you feel any better, keep believing it.

On the other hand, maybe you are just one of those Bloggernacle elitists who hate being exposed for the self-promoting, hypocritical, narcissist you are.

Kisses, dahling.

Anonymous said... @ September 25, 2006 at 11:33 AM

Where did you get that 80's era pic of Steve EM downloading pr0n from a BBS?

annegb said... @ September 25, 2006 at 11:38 AM

Who is this person in the picture?

I'm slow.

danithew said... @ September 25, 2006 at 12:28 PM

Annegb, the first picture is of me. I was fortunate that they took the pic on bath day.

Anonymous said... @ September 25, 2006 at 12:55 PM

I don't want to believe that Snarkette, but who else takes pleasure in making fun of "nerds"?

Eric Russell said... @ September 25, 2006 at 2:03 PM

Snarkette is racist! What makes you think everyone in the ‘nacle is white? Just because they’re all intelligent and educated, you assume that must mean they’re white? What’s up with that Snarkette? Maybe you don’t think brothers even know what the internet is? So you gotta go assuming that anyone with a connection has gotta have light skin? What kind of stereotype is that?

I’ll tell you one thing that’s for sure – Snarkette is as white as a pasty cracker.

Crystal said... @ September 25, 2006 at 2:16 PM

I can't help being good. It's a function of my white nrrdiness.

http://brokenpen.wordpress.com/

Stephen M (Ethesis) said... @ September 25, 2006 at 5:03 PM

Neat, I found Crystal's blog because of this. Well worth the visit.

Anonymous said... @ September 25, 2006 at 5:52 PM

Stephen you are a very nice guy. That is why I have always been puzzled about how you can possibly find the mean comments always present at the snarker to be funny, when they are constantly belittling to others.

Color me surprised.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ September 25, 2006 at 5:58 PM

Yay, anonymous trolls are the bomb! Especially then they are all T&S permabores and their wives.

Mo Mommy said... @ September 25, 2006 at 8:12 PM

"but who else takes pleasure in making fun of "nerds"? "

Are you serious?! Nobody makes fun of nerds better than Nerds!! Just like Mo's know all the good Mormon jokes, that's just how it is. I'm a geek myself, but I AM married to a nerd....

Stephen M (Ethesis) said... @ September 25, 2006 at 9:22 PM

Stephen you are a very nice guy. That is why I have always been puzzled about how you can possibly find the mean comments always present at the snarker to be funny, when they are constantly belittling to others.

I don't find everything funny here. Sometimes they miss.

But.

The Bloggernacle is going to have a site or two like this one. Can't be helped.

The question is: what shape will it take?

My real hope is that by working at it, I can influence the shape, if only a little towards:

a) things that I find funny
b) links I find interesting (I often read and enjoy links that have been snarked. Might not be cool to admit that, but often a post has to have something to it to rise to a post that will get snarked in the first place).
c) things that are the positive side of humor.

You've probably heard the line in the song "I bruise you, you bruise me, we both bruise too easily, too easily to let it show ..."

The Bloggernacle will bruise us all as we participate, that is the nature of life. But, it is possible for it not to hurt as much as it could, and for humor to do good as much as anything else.

Or so I hope.

Stephen M (Ethesis) said... @ September 25, 2006 at 9:26 PM

Crystal,

I'm so sad you deleted Must Love Books. It was so pretty in so many ways, and I always hoped that you would find a return.

I still do, even with your new blog.

Crystal said... @ September 26, 2006 at 10:32 PM

Stephen,

I still have MLB on my hard drive. I wouldn't throw away all of that journally goodness. I'm a bad Mormon, but a Mormon nonetheless.

I'm not leaving the Church, and not really leaving the Nacle, either. Obviously, I still read and comment.

I'm actually working toward full activity. I've rearranged my work schedule so that I can go to Church again and I'm looking forward to Conference.

Yesterday marked six years of Mormondom, and I think I have at least another six left in me.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ September 27, 2006 at 4:34 AM

Crystal, we are all bad. And the ones that look good, they are usually the worst. Mark Twain wrote in _Roughing It_:

Moralizing, I observed, then, that all that glitters is not gold."

Mr. Ballou said I could go further than that, and lay it up among my treasures of knowledge, that nothing that glitters is gold. So I learned then, once for all, that gold in its native state is but dull, unornamental stuff, and that only low-born metals excite the admiration of the ignorant with an ostentatious glitter. However, like the rest of the world, I still go on underrating men of gold and glorifying men of mica. Commonplace human nature cannot rise above that.

Stephen M (Ethesis) said... @ September 27, 2006 at 11:59 AM

I'm not leaving the Church, and not really leaving the Nacle, either. Obviously, I still read and comment.

I'm actually working toward full activity. I've rearranged my work schedule so that I can go to Church again and I'm looking forward to Conference.


Silly, how happy that made me feel.

Crystal said... @ September 27, 2006 at 3:20 PM

Ohhhhh no.

No warm and fuzzies on the SnarkerNacle!

But seriously, thanks, to both of you.

Anonymous said... @ September 27, 2006 at 6:51 PM

Amazing. Snarkette does have a kind side. I think we would all like to see more of that.

It's good to see an uplifting comment here for once rather than what has become the typical degrading mockery around here.

Snarkimus Prime said... @ September 27, 2006 at 7:31 PM

Anonymous,

Its impossible to see someone's kind side when you are hell-bent on finding fault in an effort to make yourself feel better. If you bothered to read SN consistently, rather than only when we snark you, you would see we are nice to people. We are nice to nice people, and mean to mean people. Kinda funny how that works. But, hey, things like that don't serve your purposes, so exagerate away you anonymous troll.

Anonymous said... @ September 28, 2006 at 10:58 AM

'We are nice to nice people, and mean to mean people.'

Yeah, that's what Christ wanted....

Snarkimus Prime said... @ September 28, 2006 at 2:16 PM

Yeah, and like Christ wants you to be an anonymous, hypocritical troll.

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