John "I heart DAMU" Dehlin's Mormon Stories has been shut down. The usual rumors swirl around ("It got too big for him", "He couldn't deal with the fame", "It was eclipsing his real life", "His membership was threatened by the Church", "His dog ate the hard drive"). But, the sNarcissist knows the truth, as only the sNarcissist could. Here is what really happened: Brandon Flowers was the last person John posted on. Now Brandon is a lovely boy, almost every bit as lovely as me. But, he has this whole "and you can't be a Mormon and be cool! But I'm trying my best!" thing going on, and then John outs him on the Bloggernacle. Humiliated by the extraordinary social force in Mormonism that the Bloggernacle is, Brandon was publicly embarrased in front of all Mormondom and swore vengeance on Dehlin for it. So, he used his Rock n' Roll powers of influence to have John's site taken down to spare him any further problems among the Mormon community, who still think Flowers is the neatest thing since Donny O. Oh, It is so sad when someone's pride gets the best of them and they throw a little tantrum like this, but this is just a lesson to all in the Bloggernacle: Don't mess with poweful pretty boys, they will kill you.

Rumor has it Steve "Super Genius" Evans is going to resurrect his weekly curelom-laden podcast to fill the void left by Dehlin on all Mormon's iPods. If you do, please do have Mark Butler on as a guest, as he is no doubt going to send the Millennial Star arcing through the Nacle sky like a comet.


Anonymous said... @ October 6, 2006 at 12:37 PM

more curelom podcasts. YES! YES! YES!

Evans and Butler together on a podcast could be shown on Spike TV as an ultimate fighting episode. Or maybe on pay-per-view. I myself would pay $25.00 cash money to be an eyewitness.

Anonymous said... @ October 6, 2006 at 2:48 PM

The zeitcast is not returning. it remains to be seen if the Weekly Zeitgeist will resurrect.

Curelom said... @ October 6, 2006 at 7:06 PM

grunt GRUNT!

[The zeitcast will be mine, MINE I TELL YOU!]

Anonymous said... @ October 6, 2006 at 9:04 PM

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus.

Anonymous said... @ October 7, 2006 at 9:04 AM

what does the word "poweful" mean?

or do you guys just not proof read?

Anonymous said... @ October 7, 2006 at 7:19 PM

neatest thing since Donny O?
Please, I bought the latest album with high hopes, yawn. They're peek-to-sooners, now on the decline...

And if the worst someone can say is that you need spellcheck than they're reaching for an insult. Be careful not to reach so far next time, you might fall out of your chair....

Stephen M (Ethesis) said... @ October 8, 2006 at 6:04 PM

Is this just spoof or is there a kernal of truth in it?

Snarkimus Prime said... @ October 10, 2006 at 4:23 AM

Steve EM, swearing in French will not be tolerated any more than swearing in English. Cut it out.

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