While I’d normally stick to snarking ‘nacle posts, the Nacle has been rather uninterestingly boring of late. When I need a good laugh, I check the BYU Newsnet to see what controversy is stirring amongst the Cougars in Provo. Yesterday’s Daily Universe was no disappointment.

(Partial Disclosure – I am a BYU grad, in case that matters.)

It seems that this past Tuesday’s devotional featured dance performances. The Cougarette Dance Team performed a routine choreographed to the hymn Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. I didn’t see the routine, so I can’t really comment on whether or not it was well done. However, should you want a review, you could ask Heidi McLaren or Rebecca Fluckiger – two BYU students who watched the performance and were, by their own admission, shocked, appalled, and horrified.

It drove them to such hysteria they were inspired to use a big descriptive word to illustrate their feelings. They described the performance as blasphemous. Take a few centuries off the calendar and blasphemy could get you stoned, burned, or otherwise deprived of life itself. Yes, somehow a Cougarette dance team managed to stray into the realm of irreverence and profanity.

That, for me, is just a bit of a stretch. More likely, however, is the possibility that Heidi and Rebecca fall into the category of church member which believes any use of hymns outside the chapel is heresy. These young women remind me of girls who would audibly gasp in surprise and near horror when I would crack open a can of Mountain Dew in the Wilk to wash down my lunch. And here I thought the Footloose mentality was limited to a movie shot in Lehi.

Memo to Heidi and Rebecca: Dear Sisters, loosen up! You obviously missed or did not even bother to read The Preacher’s counsel regarding dance. Just because somebody’s use of music and dance does not conform to your narrow interpretation of “acceptable” doesn’t mean it’s vile, irreverent, or profane.

You both might want to think about that before you go unsheathing a word you picked up from your Old Testament class vocabulary list.


Jack "Marlboro Man" Mormon said... @ October 6, 2006 at 8:27 AM

Ah, shucks! You missed the story about the hillarious pick-up! I loved that one!!!

Guess it must be o.k. to pick-up on married women, just so long as you make them feel sexy and pertty. No monkey business, though. Specially not at the Lord's University--Breed'em Young!

WHOA!!! Leggo my prego!!

There's a bevvy of beautiful betty's in my ward boundaries. I might just have to start going back to church so's I can pick-up on em and makes em feel sexy and stuff.

Anonymous said... @ October 6, 2006 at 9:01 AM

Dear Jack,

You are not funny.

Anonymous said... @ October 6, 2006 at 9:03 AM


If you're short on 'nacle material, you could snark Jamisue siccing her husband (who must have Short Man Sydrome) on a kid selling door to door.

Jack "Marlboro Man" Mormon said... @ October 6, 2006 at 9:45 AM

Dear Anonymous,

You don't know jack!!

Anonymous said... @ October 6, 2006 at 10:40 AM

I knew Jack...you are no Jack Mormon

Crystal said... @ October 6, 2006 at 10:44 AM

Yeah, jack, you're more annoying than amusing.

Jack "Marlboro Man" Mormon said... @ October 6, 2006 at 10:50 AM

Ahhh...you're just saying that to stroke my ego. How nice. :-)

Jack "Daniels" Mormon said... @ October 6, 2006 at 11:30 AM

Hey Shiz - maybe Heidi and Rebecca are practicing their uptightness in the hope that they will be invited to become a permablogger somewhere. Ya think?

Anonymous said... @ October 6, 2006 at 11:51 AM

How on earth do you dance to "Come Thou Font" anyway?

There's a reason why the only BYU dance programs that get any respect outside Utah Valley are the Ballroom Dance Team and the Folk Dance Program (when they're performing in... say... Ukraine...).

Seth R.

Rebecca (and Heidi) said... @ October 23, 2006 at 9:52 PM

It's amazing how no one other than you can be sarcastic or write something inflammatory to see if they can get a response...

You have NO IDEA how funny it is to have a whole crew of highly intelligent Cougarettes telling you how black and twisted your soul is.

And, by the way, Heidi LIVES on Diet Coke... with extra caffeine. She adds it in capsules... for serious.

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