| 10 comments ]

No, no, NO. You guys have it ALL wrong.

Here is the list of the top-ten most influential Mormons, the way any sane, red-blooded American would see it:


1) Donny Osmond (Duh!)

2) J.W. Marriott (Duh!) (A&W Root Beer, AND hotels complete with Books of Mormon -- all from one man!)

3) Kevin Rollins (CEO of Dell--What would church record keeping be like without Dell computers? Huh? HUH?!)

4) Jon Huntsman, Sr. (because he's loaded)

5) Harry Reid (because he has the nicest office on Capitol Hill)

6) Larry H. Miller (what other Mormon owns a pro basketball team? Need I say more??)

7) That guy from Napoleon Dynamite

8) Steve Young (because anytime someone talks about famous Mormons, he's mentioned)

9) Whoever designed the San Diego Temple (because it looks cool and people talk about it)

10) Mitt Romney (love the hair, what else can I say?)
I rest my case.

10 comments

tracy m said... @ December 14, 2006 at 9:05 AM

Man, you're on a roll lately!

Jack "Marlboro Man" Mormon said... @ December 14, 2006 at 9:28 AM

I'm disappointed that none of the perma-bores made your list. Here's mine:

1) Snarkimus Prime (Duh!)

2) Dazzle Snark & Shizzle (Tied)(sorry, it's more important to suck-up to Snarkimus Prime than you two. Duh!)

3) Kaimipono Davido Wangero (Where would the nacle be without the inventor of nacle fondue? That, and he's a lawyer. Duh!)

4) Lord Voldemort (because the force is strong in this one...and he's also a lawyer.)

5) DKL (Knitting and Horus! Need I say more? Duh!)

6) Julie M. Smith (Because she's right more oftener that you are--even when she's wrong!! She's my favorite permabore at Trivial & Snooty!!) (Duh!)

7) Nate Oman (What would a list like this be without a nerdy, yet hip, onymous blogger who is also a lawyer?)

8)Grasshopper (because he named the nacle!) (Duh!)

9)Connor Boyack (when I grow up, I want to be just like him! All in favor?) (Sustaind!)

10) 10, 10, 10 is for everyone, everyone, everyone!!! (with apologies to the Violent Femmes--no, not FMh, the other Violent Femmes!)

Anonymous said... @ December 14, 2006 at 12:04 PM

Jack,

Careful there, or people will begin thinking you are just another one of Kurt's alter egos.

Anonymous said... @ December 15, 2006 at 10:11 PM

So, anyone going to take a stab at the circumcision thread over at FMH?

Ouch!

Seth R.

Anonymous said... @ December 16, 2006 at 2:41 PM

That circumcision thread is just too depressing to snark.

Crystal said... @ December 17, 2006 at 12:20 AM

Hey what about Glenn Beck?

And what about me?

You could at least link my influential self. Geez.

Stephen said... @ December 17, 2006 at 6:50 AM

Now this is a good example of sharp LDS humor.

Jettboy said... @ December 17, 2006 at 3:12 PM

One nagging problem. The guy who designed the San Diego Temple was not Mormon. It was "outsourced" to, I believe, a Catholic.

Anonymous said... @ December 17, 2006 at 4:04 PM

Well whoever designed the SD temple didn't believe in separation of church and Interstate.

funksoulbrotha said... @ January 11, 2007 at 5:55 PM

@Jettboy: I was sealed by the architect of the SD temple in the SD temple. He didn't seem very catholic at the time!

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