The Aircraft Allegory

We here at SN were duly chastized for referencing FMH's bigness in terms of female-big qualities. Apparently a blog dominated by female issues takes exception to being defined in female-oriented terminology.

So we now bring you, the gender-neutral Bloggernacle Aircraft Allegory!

By Common Consent = Boeing 747 (big airplane, widely used, and its made in Washington State!)
Times and Seasons = L-1011 (big plane, lots of capacity, used to be important, but has been mothballed by the airlines)
Feminist Mormon Housewives = Airbus A380 (Big! BIGGER!! BIGGEST EVER!!! And, made by the Bush-hating French)


Let's listen in to Bloggernacle Air Traffic Control (ATC)...


ATC: BCC Flight 1830, descend and maintain 13,000 feet.

BCC1830: Roger, descend and maintain 1-3-0.

ATC: M-star 000, contact 'Nacle departure on 122.4.

Radio: [static]

ATC: They must have switched over already?

ATC: FMH 380, descend and maintain 11,000 feet.

FMH380: Who the hell are you?

ATC: Uhhh, FMH 380-Heavy, this is the Nacle approach channel--descend and maintain 11,000 feet.

FMH380: First you insult my weight, now you tell me what to do? I don't have to listen to you just because you're a man.

ATC: FMH 380, in controlled airspace federal regulations require that you follow instructions given by...

FMH380: Come, see the benevolent sexism inherent in the system!! Up yours, you sexist pig. I didn't vote for those regulations.

ATC: Okay, I'll bite. Why is this sexist?

FMH380: How dare you ask a question like that! That only proves how sexist you are!

ATC, to coworker: Scramble the standby's for an inbound hostile escort.

ATC: FMH 380, turn right bearing 2-7-0 and hold.

FMH380: Turn right? Why should I trust you? Because you have a penis and I don't?

ATC: Sometimes the advice you get is for your own benefit. Quit being so stubborn.

FMH380: I'm not turning. We're perfectly fine on our present course. We have lots of people onboard. Men, even!

ATC: [sighs] Suit yourself.

FMH380: Nacle approach, what's that in front of us?

ATC: The Great Mountain of Imminent Irrelevance. Turn right bearing 2-7-0.

FMH380: [male computer voice, in background]: Terrain, terrain. Pull up, pull up.

FMH380: Never! Your male-dominated culture of intimidation and manipulation will not deter us from...

[distant rumbling, ground trembles slightly]

ATC: FMH380? FMH380?

ATC, to coworker: Obviously a major malfunction.