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Guest Post: Vice President Dick Cheney

Dear Mr. Head,

I would like to take a moment to thank you for your letter. I want to assure you I appreciate the time and effort you have put in to committing yourself and your fellow Mormons to supporting the cause of Democracy with more than words. Anyone who is willing to give up Soccer on the Television and Rye Crisps to blog is, without question, a true patriot and an evangelist of Democracy.

Mostly, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude for your exceptional magnanimity in committing the Mormons of Utah to enlist in the U.S. Military to support the War Against Terror. I am confidant that if you too were an American Citizen, like those whom you have volunteered, you would enlist in the Marines so as to support the Cause of Freedom.

Why am I so confidant of this? Because it is plain to me that you are not like all the other blogger who just sit around an complain and whine ad nauseum. No, you are a man of action, and like your fellow Mormon bloggers, you don't just sit around and fire up the bellows of contention with empty rhetoric that accomplishes nothing at all. No, you actually do stuff and take action and get things done to make the world a better place for everyone, not just yourself.

Which is how I know you are a man like me, a man of action. So, my brother in arms, I welcome you and all of your Mormon brothers into the ranks of those who will do and not just talk, who will act and not just plan, who will get off their lardy posteriors and do something substantive, rather than just watch telly and whinge day in and day out.

Continue to put your shoulder to the wheel, Mr. Head. And, I do look forward to seeing all those fine young Mormon Return Missionaries lining up at the Armed Forces Recruiting offices which you have sent them to.

Very Sincerely Yours,

3 comments

Herr Haupt von Wien said... @ April 26, 2007 at 5:22 AM

Many thanks for your gracious reply, Mr. Vice President.

I have been pondering lately whether I should, in fact, join the Royal Navy. I hear many adventures await.

I just wait for the word...

Snarkimus Prime said... @ April 26, 2007 at 6:18 AM

Why wait?

If you are looking for a suitable soundtrack, how about Village People's _In The Navy_ ?

Stephen said... @ April 27, 2007 at 12:32 PM

Better watch out, you are getting quoted as a serious source from time to time now.

e.g. http://faithpromotingrumor.wordpress.com/2007/04/26/scholars-and-prophets/#comment-4670

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