That this wheat be made into something more easily digested, I have taken some time out from my busy schedule to offer a translation to the Mormons, whom to be made to understand has been like splitting hemlock knots with a corn-dodger for a wedge, and a pumpkin for a beetle, although in a case like this it is entirely excusable. Here is my translation for the Bloggernacle, that I might render it a bit more plain:

Terryl Givens has written a new book, and it is unique.

He is an able and authoritative commentator on Mormon arts and letters.

He offers penetrating insights on a topic which lends itself to boring prose, but keeps his writing engaging.

Givens explores the interplay of Mormon religion and culture.

While some would dismiss cultural theories in examining art, Givens argues persuasively that they should be taken into account.

Givens also wonders how the art and culture has influenced the religion.

Ms. R. considers Givens' book to be seminal in the discussion of Mormon culture and art.

Sister Welch, I thank you for taking the time to write such an excellent and comprehensive review of Brother Givens' new book. Upon the next endeavor, please do me the favor of writing in such a manner that it be comprehensible and not imponderable to the Saints, that they might benefit thereby forthwith and without additional explication. Remember what Nephi son of Lehi said about plainness. As I have many pressing matters to attend to, I would consider it a personal favor to relieve me of the obligation of translating abstruce texts in like manner in the future.

Sincerest salutations, yours very kindly,

Brother Joseph.

Hey, guess what? Feminists like other feminists and find them sexy, and love to read statistics that prove what they always knew. In other news, registered Democrats don't vote for Republicans, dogs aren't cats and tautologies cannot be made false by mere mortals.

Here are some more useful statistics for you:

100% of Mormon Bloggers love bloggers who are Mormon who agree with everything they say and post salutary, sycophantic comments.

0% of Mormon Bloggers like being snarked by SnarkerNacle Industries LTD., more reviled than DKL, more often banned than outspoken conservatives at BCC and critical commentators at T&S, less side-blog linked than NDBF Gary.

You can quote me as a source.

More amusing is Quimby's defense of the Clintons after mami points out the irony here. Sorry, Quimby, but Bill's feminism is weak, at best. Defend lying adulterers (D-NY) while attacking LDS Church leaders (R-Utah). More circular logic, eh? Defend those in your political circle. Heads up guys, as long as you talk the talk, you can cheat on your wife and lie about it. With a stunning example like this, no wonder guys want to be feminists.

If the Bloggernacle had Laws governing it, one of them would surely be Thou Shalt Discuss Excrement Often, and Not Withold the Contents of Thy Bowels, or Loins, or Anything Like Unto It from Your Readers, for they are Beholden to it, No Matter How Odiferous, Rancid, or Putrescent it May Be Unto Thee, for Thine Uncleanness Shall Be Multiplied Upon Thine Readers and Therefore Not Upon Thee.

Seriously people, what is it about the Bloggernacle that has dookie being the "go to" topic? FMH does it regularly, TftC has been emulating them, BCC has dipped their toe in the honey pot, and now NCT has gone down with the brown. Matt W half-heartedly tries to turn it into an intellectual discussion on why people could be so inconsiderate in making messes with it and whether that is some indicator of socio-economic status, or some other such rot. But, the bulk of the discussion is about plain old crap.

Yes, everyone does it. Everyone burps, farts, picks their nose, scratches themselves, and engages in various other gender and non-gender-specific bodily functions too. Nobody talks about them on the Bloggernacle. Just poop. Which really is discriminatory to all the other personal hygiene-related topics. I mean, come on, someone really could work farting and burping, but nobody does. Which suggests the Bloggernacle is either bigoted against all others forms of hygiene-related exposition, or they are obsessive about it. Not sure which.

Aside from Dialogue not being populated with Jedi writers, this thread on greed has some interesting revelations. A couple of people pop in to point out they are wise and just stewards, while many more embittered people rant about their inability to buy in an up market. The only rant-maker honest enough to expose the source of his anger is DKL. Great! So as soon as the market starts cooling off, a market that spiraled wildly up because of greed, there are more greedy people like DKL waiting in the wings to soften the fall by scooping up houses when the market goes soft. So, in other words, DKL, the market will not burn as you wish it would, because of...people like you.

And, while Sam MB laments the moral and spiritual health Mormons, the home-buying Mormons of the Bloggernacle lament their inability to buy in an up market and bitterly fantasize about "the house to which we could upgrade in a more reasonable market", rather than discuss what Mormons can do to address the underlying problem of greed which created and fuels the problem. Why repent when you can wait for market forces to change in your favor?

Ms. Ardis takes Will Bagley, et al. to task for being axe-griding anti-Mormons, and rightly so. But, the manner in which she does so is decidedly snarky, and fellow T&S permabore Nate joins right in. Will Bagley shows up and complains about the treatment, but Ardis defends her snarkiness as a legitimate approach that is not a charter-violating personal attack (apparently, insinuating they are asses is not a personal attack, perhaps saying "Will Bagley is an ass" is, but indirectly suggesting he is isn't...not at T&S anyway).

Ah, me, this is all very comforting. You see, the permabores at T&S often complain they are targets of SnarkerNacle. It is good to see they have come around to accepting things as we see it, and will from now on be more open to such fun. As long as we only insinuate they are asses and don't actually say they are, then it will all be in accordance with their way of doing business, right? Good, glad we have that settled.