In the spirit of Rebecca's fMh Advent Calendar, we not so humbly submit to you:

On the twelve days of Christmas,
FMH sent to me:

Twelve someones doing something,
Eleven whiners whining,
Ten piles of poopy,
Nine ladies wanking,
Eight maids lactating,
Seven moms homeschooling,
Six book reviews,
Five Nuva rings,
Four angry rants,
Three sexist bases,
Two frustrated VLs,
And I can’t stand idiots today rage!

Symbolism of The Twelve Days of fMhmas:
1 If you don't agree with fMhLisa's irrational take on life and blogging then you clearly are an idiot, because she is the one who immasculated Adam Greenwood and she will do it to you too
2 Guest posts sent in by extremely sexually frustrated women who have never had their two virgin lips kisses
3 The insightful realization that sex is just a game and analogies should be taken to literal extremes to prove your point, like the three bases
4 Angry ranting all four seasons of the year is the whole reason FMH exists
5 NuvaRing, five times better than the pill because you only deal with it once every four weeks
6 You can read FMH Book Group books six days a week, but not on Sunday, because that would violate the Sabbath
7 The homeschooled kids are trapped at home seven days a week, wishing mom would get off the computer and pay attention to them
8 The number of inches their bra size increases
9 We all know 90% of people wank, and the other 10% are liars, only FMH is honest enough to encourage the girls to start their journey of self-discovery
10 The poop chronicles are about as good as Bo Derek's plastic surgery
11 Their Complain knob "goes to 11"
12 The number of hours in "Day in the Life" posts that have to be selectively edited, omitting and embellishing when necessary


Anonymous said... @ December 8, 2006 at 5:40 AM

It should be emasculate. Feel free to delete this comment.

Jack "Marlboro Man" Mormon said... @ December 8, 2006 at 8:49 AM

And I thought it would be difficult to get into the spirit of Christmas!!!

Not so when the sNarcissist is on the job!!

I'm especially anxious for the ninth day of Christmas. Ho, ho, ho!!

Anonymous said... @ December 8, 2006 at 11:01 AM

Basically, the advent calendar was driving her traffic way down, since it's a big ol' snoozer, so she had to post about sex twice. Plus, the two threads are completely diametrically opposed to each other, but hypocrisy is not a problem for Lisa.

Aimee "Roo" said... @ December 8, 2006 at 11:07 AM

This is one of the funniest ones so far. Way to go! Your bringing funny back. :)

Anonymous said... @ December 8, 2006 at 12:23 PM

Another home run, Snarky. You're batting 1,000 lately. This snark touches all the bases.

Stephen M (Ethesis) said... @ December 9, 2006 at 9:25 AM

I kind of liked the advent calendar, and it was something that my non-LDS friends liked.

On the other hand, good satire is one of the sharpest tributes.

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