In response to recent well-placed and inspired criticism from expert sources in the know, the LDS Church has released designs for new chapels meant to cater to the needs of young mothers. The new design will place a large indoor playground at the center of the structure with an entire hall on the East side of the building of spacious single-serve bathrooms, each complete with padded changing table, home made quilt, an array of diapers and stocked diaper-wipe warmer, vibrating leather reclining massage chairs and wall-mounted plasma TVs showing the Family Learning Channel 24/7. The west hall will be a modern food court style serving area where only organic, low-carbon, locally produced snacks and drinks will be served gratis. The North hall will be dedicated to a buffet area where New Mothers can order and pick up nutritious meals as often as they like, at their convenience, for the first 6 months after their most recent birth. The South hall will be dedicated towards stroller and car seat storage.

In a bold move that pleased Dr. Claudia Bushman, all Priesthood offices and public meeting spaces were moved outside into the parking lot and given unpadded stainless steel folding chairs. Dr. Bushman was quoted as saying, "Well its about time the injustice of all these years has finally been corrected! The horror, suffering and oppression of having to put strollers and car seats into the coat rooms has finally come to an end. The tyranny of small mother's lounges is over!"


Anonymous said... @ June 21, 2007 at 10:45 PM

you forgot to include the rameumptom. for that crowd, you'll probably need two or three.

Ann said... @ June 26, 2007 at 8:01 PM

I would so hang out in the chapel in that picture

Patti said... @ June 28, 2007 at 11:34 PM

I have to disagree, Ann, unless the dress code for church changes as well.

I'd hate to retrieve my toddler from the inside of that maze of tubes and chutes in nylons and a skirt.

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