Yes, it is true, the Nacle is gay, gay, gay, gay. You know it is summertime in the Bloggernacle when nobody is saying much of anything and all the dead horses are trotted out for some extra beatings.

Won't be long before GeoffJ at the Thang writes about the theological implications of obsessively talking about homosexuality.

yawn...

You know, every time Team SnarkerNacle thinks about pulling the plug and shutting things down permanently, someone comes along and shows us why we are relevant.

We, of SnarkerNacle Industries LTD., salute all of you who love to hate us. You make us what we are, and give us the grist for our mill. Yes, every one of you who decry us in public and then send us snarks in private, who demand we be boycotted and then read us faithfully, who insist they haven't read us for months and then post scathing comments littered with profanity, who criticize us relentlessly for not keeping up quality and then post vomitous effluvia to the Bloggernacle. Ah, how we love you, almost as much as you love yourselves.

File under: Obvious

So, Adam G thinks its wicked to abort baby girls just because they aren't boys, and babies with Down's Syndrome and babies that might be genetically predisposed to homosexuality. OK, so its kind of obvious Adam doesn't like abortion. Sure, he might approve of it under some extenuating circumstances (PLEASE DO NOT ASK HIM!!!), but in general its a bad thing. Got it.

OK, so what other wicked reasons for abortion has Adam missed? If we beat him to the punch, that will end his string of nearly identical utterly boring posts and end his Abortion Trilogy where it stands. Let's see:

height
genetic predisposition to obesity
intelligence potential
hair color
genetic predisposition to 70's era music
excessive body hair
genetic predisposition to pretentious blog posts
blue eyes

What else? Come on people, let us all pull the rug out from under Adam and make him actually post something substantive (i.e., more than 1 sentence).

P.S., in case you didn't know, all babies are born with blue eyes, so that last one isn't serious.

BCC's authority on transgender channeling, Steve Evans, has written a Popcorn post on Girl's Camp. My best guess is he's taken an earlier incarnation of Jenn (of Blather of Heaven fame).

It seems as though some of his best work on the editing room floor - so with the new technological miracle known as virtual deleted scenes, I bring you Excerpts from Jenn's Girls Camp Diary.

[Snip]

I've been here for a few days, and though I hate to say it, I just don't fit in with these other girls. Something about me is just...different.

[Snip]

I can't believe this! I forgot, of all things, my razor! How embarrassing! I tried to approach my tent mate Miranda to borrow hers. Talk about a real Beeyotch! You'd think I'd asked her for her panties - which by the way are less than flattering.

[Snip]

That Lisa chick - she's being a bump on a log. Refuses to participate in any camp activities and just stays in her tent reading Gloria Steinham.

[Snip]

Today Julie and Rosalynde had a battle of wits in which they attempted to out-vocabularize each other. Its still going on with no end in sight. I'm not sure, but I think Julie is just making up words at this point.

[Snip]

Mail Call! I know we're only up here for a week, but we get mail anyway. My only letter came from Ned Flanders. He's cute, but he kinda freaks me out. I dunno...the letter sounds like he might be seeing someone else. If its Maude, I'll just scream.

[Snip]

There's a big commotion in camp right now...something about drugs being found...more later.

The normally pedestrian Faith-Promoting Rumor, formally the 'Naccle's #1 Site for unsolicited obscure scriptural explication, has been taken over by some sort of strange giant-brained life form with an ego whose size has never been seen outside a university setting. Personally, we here at Snarkernacle LTD have no idea why the average Saint would be wary of something like this:

Kants conception of autonomy requires us to respect the dignity of others by respecting there choices. Clearly Mormons are not Kantian is this sense. Mormons do approach questions about right and wrong with a deontological form of divine command theory. However, I do not see much of an appreciation for reason, universal rationality, and particularly liberty rooted in autonomy.

To be honest I think that LDS theology is not philosophical enough (or systematic enough). I think part of this is that we as a conservative people are wary of intellectual approaches to faith.

So in the spirit of FPR's [in]famous surveys, we'd like to propose one of our own:

Which topic would be most appropriate as a formal introduction to LDS thought for your friends and neighbors?

A. Deontological forms of divine command theory

B. Conflations leading to a Kierkegaard-type position

And stay tuned for next week's survey, when we ask the question "Can the Kierkegaard-type position be used by consenting adults married in the temple?"

After that, we'll be taking up the moral implications of improperly using homonyms of "their" and do save up all your change because we are taking up of a collection for a new ostomy bag to assist in HP's blogging.

*CLICK!*



Tonight, on 2News at 10:00... Bill Gephardt delves into the mysterious world known to few as "The Bloggernacle".




Who are these crazy whack jobs? And what are they doing with your information? Plus, Bill's recommendations for dealing with Nacle "stalkers". Tune in tonight! Now, a word from our sponsors...




Hi, I'm SuperDell from Toooootally Bankrupt Computers!




*CLICK!*




I'm Carol Mikita, Religion Correspondent for KSL-TV. I recently had the opportunity to sit down with the self-proclaimed creator of the loose collection of websites referred to as the "Bloggernacle". When we return, you will hear the story of how this quasi-apostate, online religious mecca rocketed to prominence in the minds of a select few... wait, I'm sorry, I'd better stick to the teleprompter text given to me by the K-Man.... "rocketed to prominence in the lives of everyday Church members throughout the world."




Thank you, Carol. Nice catch there with the script. Let's get a quick check on the Bloggernacle forecast. Mark?




Thank you, Dick. You know, I've been predicting weather in the Beehive State for years. I've seen some crazy things in my day, from unpredictable lake-effect snows to the Tornado of '99. But nothing compares to the long-term Nacle forecast.




First, we see a troubling development near FMH and BCC. Keep your eyes on this one, as we can expect isolated SnarkStorms along this front.




As you can see from our exclusive NacleCam network, things are pretty dry over at T&S--no shortage of hot air for those folks. Remember, stay indoors and drink plenty of liquids!




In addition, we're going to see something that appears to be a regular occurence in the Nacle microclimate... That is, the total eclipse of both faith and common sense! This is just astonishing...




It looks like we will have new record lows throughout the Nacle. The faith barometer just seems to be bottomless in these parts, though we do have a slight chance of testimony later in the week.




In short, it will be more of the same ole, same ole. Back to you.




*CLICK!*

Want your kid to outshine the rest in Seminary with a very, very deep knowledge of the sciptures? Tired of your kids being forced to chant "God is a Spirit, He doesn't have a body" over and over again? Shouldn't your kids spend some time correcting the teacher regarding some of his or her misinterpretations of the Bible?


You need Geoff B's Hooked on Apologetics!

Kit includes:

Complete DVD set of Living Scriptures, a hardcover copy of The Truth About the God Makers, Defeating Darwinism by Opening Minds, and Mere Christianity. Of course, the set includes Geoff B's nightly family scripture study schedule rotating matrix and audio tapes of the favorite lectures his children ask for time and again ("Why Mitt Romney should be President", "Politics, Religion and Marriage", "Evolution:The Lie Your Science Teacher Loves", "HBO, Polygamy and You" and "Raydnecks is so durn Funnay!"), all of which are sure to impart the wisdom of the scriptures to your child.

This easy-to-use program eases your child into apologetics with straight-forward rote memorization using fun and colorful cartoonish flip cards and mnemonic tricks. It covers all of the standard evangelical anti-mormon and atheistic attacks on the LDS faith. So start preparing your child now to win the confrontations they will inevitably face.


No guarantee is promised, expressed or implied that use of this program with your child will result in them remaining faithful and active in the LDS Church. Results may vary.

With a tag line of "OT vs. T&S" you sit there hoping for a Bloggernacle version of Celebrity Deathmatch between the Canadian big blog and the American big blog, with much bloodshed and gratuitous violence. Unfortunately, that isn't the case. However, Kim does point to an interesting tool that presents what appears to be a reasonably robust measure of a web site's readability.

Lets compare, for example, Jim F's most impenetrable post ever, the Dear Jane Doe letter (which left the intended recipient nonplussed) results with that of fMh's infamously awful Sex Talk thread results. Obvious outcome, right?



What? Hey, wait a minute. fMh is more foggy and less easy to read than T&S? Whoa. Props to the gals at fMh for being the most educated and smartest sounding blog, moreso than T&S! You go girl!

Well, I guess that proves that all of us here at SnarkerNacle were wrong when we said that T&S was the most pretentious blog on the Nacle! T&S, we are so sorry for all those nasty things we said about you all being pedantic and pretentious. I mean, clearly, you aren't the smartest, most clever, most scholarly, most erudite blong on the Nacle when fMh's worst thread beats your best example of abstruce incarnate. Big obsequious apologies to all you T&S permabores, from all of us here at SN Industries LTD. Will you ever forgive us? Please?

That seems to be the question – at least over at BCC.

I’m hesitant to add my two-cents to a post that has already been Snarked, but some things were said in the BCC comments that cried out to be snarked upon.

The basic questions posed by Ronan are:

Can snark ever be civil? Should the ‘nacle support Snarkey? Was the Mormon Archipelago right to boot them? Should the curtain be pulled back?

These questions suggest an air of arrogant supremacy (speaking of 'nacle bigwigs generally, not Ronan specifically) in all things Bloggernacle related. It assumes the ability of the ‘nacle bigwigs of BCC, T&S, M*, et al to curtail "support" for the Snarker in addition to the capability of said entities and/or individuals to expose those of us associated with Snarking. I submit that if such exposure were possible, it would already have taken place. The frustration of ‘nacle bigwigs in this effort must be maddening.

As for civility – there are those among us in the ‘nacle who will take offense if any contrarian views or comedic fun are had at their expense. They believe they have a God given right to express their views – however warped or misguided they may be – in a public forum for all to see, hear, read, and enjoy.

You know what? To do so is their right and they have the ability to pontificate to the limit allowed by the collective bandwidth available to them. That said, my ability to poke holes in ever-expanding egos is governed under the same tenets under which the ‘nacle bigwigs post their thoughts.

There is an ever raging debate about what exactly is Snarkworthy. The Snarker/Snarkette and I have, at times, disagreed on this standard. Most of the time, I don’t snark people relating their personal trials and tribulations – unless they happen to be related in a manner which causes me to spew my morning Diet Coke on my computer monitor because the story is so frigging hilarious. Yes, Tracy M., I’m talking about you. I try, and often fail, to keep away from snarking the FHM’ers more than once a week. Believe me, this takes a discipline which I have not yet entirely mastered.

Basically, if you’re going to take pot-shots at the Brethren, claim that your personal opinion is more valid than established Doctrine, or trumpet the Sunstoned Symposium over General Conference – and I have the time, energy, and disposition to do so – you’re going to get snarked. Sometimes I’ll take a comedic course, other times I’ll just point out what I find to be ludicrous.

What will most likely drive the ‘nacle bigwigs even further nuts is the fact that I don’t need or require ‘nacle support to participate in this blog. Read if you like. Comment if you feel so inclined. Either way, my ego is secure. Sorry to disappoint, Kaimi.

For the record, I do not know the Snarker/Snarkette. Neither Dazzle nor I have ever met or spoken with any other member of the Snarker Team. If the ‘nacle bigwigs desire to "expose" me, I invite them to take their best shot.

So, to answer Ronan’s question – yes, the fact that no one is forced to read the Snarker is relevant. Far more relevant, however, is fact that his ability, and the ability of other ‘nacle bigwigs, to control what is Snarked is, in fact, non-existent.

That’s the way the ‘nacle turns.

Hi there Bloggernacle,

The people over at BCC have succesfully baited Kaimi into making a fool of himself, so there really isn't any point in anyone here even bothering with that. Other than point out to Kaimi that nobody here ever called you a "bastard", ever. So we have no idea what you are talking about there, other than trying to exagerate the offense to make it sound like we are worse than we are, just like your pals did yesterday.

We have told the Bloggernacle a number of times that the SnarkerNacle is a team effort. It still is a team effort. Kurt has outed himself because T&S was trying to blackmail him, but the rest of the people are not going to. And you know what? We aren't going to expose any of our sources either, and we have lots of them. There are a lot of people who are very active in the Nacle who send us snarks, snarks which get posted under the title "Snarker/Snarkette" because these people have something snarky to say and don't want the credit.

Why don't they want the credit? Because of what you saw on yesterday's post and on the post at BCC. T&S Julie acts all like a total shrill prima donna on M0 and gets called on it, and the T&S attack dogs twist it all around into an attack on her kids and family (which never happened) and then shovel truckloads of idiotic threats and demands for butt kissing. And, because of all the stupid nonsense Kaimi pulled, trying to get the Bloggernacle to boycott SnarkerNacle. It is this kind of behavior that makes people fear to say what they are thinking, so those people send it to us and we post it. And guess what? There are a lot of people out there who submit stuff who want to remain anonymous. Some submit ideas, and some submit complete snarks we cut and paste directly without editing, adding only links and maybe a pic.

So, the reality is, there are a lot of people in the Nacle, more than you would think, who submit material to us and have beefs they want to air. If you think we are obsessed with T&S, you are sadly mistaken. Only about half of the T&S related posts are from members of the Team SnarkerNacle, the rest are submissions we receive from average Naclers.

And, for the rest of you who think we aren't funny anymore, all I can say is submit something that you think is funny and we will put it up and give you credit if you want it.

One last thing. We here at SnarkerNacle have a 100% take down rate when it comes to offended persons approaching us in private via the e-mail address by intelligently explaining their position and why they are offended. Not once have failed to remove a post that offended the person in question who contacted us privately. Not once. Got it? And this has happened several times. Whenever people contact us privately, we always listen to them, take their view into account, and take corrective measures. Always. So, you idiots, and I do mean idiots, at T&S have a 100% failure rate at approaching us privately about posts that offend you. Instead, you wage a war. And you get what you deserve. You lie, distort and try to use your influence in the Bloggernacle to silence those who oppose you and promote those who kiss your butts (take Blogger of Jared for example). Well, you can forget it Kaimi, Frank, Nate. We here at SN will never, ever kiss your butts, no matter how many times you threaten to out us.

Finally, someone in the BCC thread asked about MSTP t-shirts, you can get them here.

Feel free to back up the dump truck and unload in the comments.

File under: Self help


Feeling bad about your parenting skills? Take a tip from Julie M. Smith in Austin and self-righteously attack other parents with things you don't do and you will feel better about yourself immediately. Never mind that you pawn your own kids off on others and then neglect them when they have play dates at your house, instead lash out at other mothers who take their kids to ballet, soccer and preschool then weakly apologize for their misunderstanding you and stomp off in a huff while insulting the person you just offended.

So, um, Julie, if you are against Preschool and outside activities and you are busy doing housework and "writing books" (self-published ponderous lists of unanswered questions) and you keep your kids out of your hair with chores and video games, then who is teaching your little ones the alphabet, numbers and good social skills? In other words, the stuff they would learn in preschool, if you sent them there, but don't because you would rather spend the money on "food storage or college funds or...consumer debt"...or new GameBoy games to keep the kids motivated to do chores (or is that the "consumer debt" you were referring to?).

Meet Julie's Babysitter (low hourly rates).

File under: You get what you pay for


Would you be my, could you be my, won't you be my neighbor? I'm glad we're together again. Let's see if Picture Picture has anything to show us today. Hi. Picture Picture, please show us the name of the film for today. Words. Oh, a film about words. That'll be good to look at. How graceful they are. Beautiful.

Let's look at the words in our Scriptures. Do you have Scriptures? I bet you do. They are the dusty books your parents carry around on Sunday, but don't look at the rest of the week. Do you know where they are? Good. That's right, go ahead and get them and follow along with me.

We won't actually read them, we'll just look at them, and notice they have neighbors too, just like you and I are neighbors. Words are put together in lines, called sentences. Can you say "sentences"? Good. These words that are next to each other in sentences are neighbors, and sometimes some words like to be close to other words more often because they play together well and sound nice. Point this out to your family and friends, and they will think you are smart and be impressed, even though you don't read them yourself.

File under: Blissful Ignorance

I have no idea what planet Lisa lives on, but here is her pseudo pro-fem rant du jour:

I’m just sick and tired of it, and I’m freakin’ pissed off at all the people telling me We don’t need feminists anymore, It isn’t true, We don’t value boys more than girls, We’ve achieved our goals, Girls can do anything.

Anything but be heard, anything but be seen, anything but be a freakin’ cartoon.

Um, Lisa, could you shut up for a minute and let me introduce you to a few of my fellow female cartoon friends (who are a lot more justifiably pissed that you say they don't exist):



And, I am sure you would reject all of the old Disney gals, since they are just weak, demaning charicatures of the kind of dewey-eyed does men like (sort of like Bambi's Mom, who sacrifices her life to save her son, which is stupid, but would have been cool if Bambi had been her daughter instead of her son), but what about the more recent agressive and independent ones, like Pocahontas, Ariel, Jasmine, Mulan and Esmeralda?

I could go on, but I think I have made my point. The selective use of biased statistics from Ms. Magazine does not accomplish anything useful for the cause of feminism.

Thanks,

Smurfette

File under: Scouser

UrbanDictionary.com is a collective public work where people can define slangerific words and then vote on the relative goodness of fit for submitted definitions. Well, someone has gone in an entered a definition for "bloggernacle" and, based upon the submitter's definition, it is pretty obvious they are both from BCC and British, since nobody in the USA, barring extreme anglophiles (of which BCC also has one known resident--so she is also suspect), knows what bollocks are, let alone blogocks. So, congrats, Ronan (or perhaps Elisabeth) on being the first to the pillory.

File under: Rationalization


If you invite Adam over for dinner, do not let him into your kitchen. If you do, he will sort your tupperware, randomly free associate, and then try to equate kleptomania with the United Order while packing the leftovers into your tupperware (the patented trademarked burping pastel ones since that is what he needs to round out his own collection), and write about it a post to the Bloggernacle...while eating your leftovers in his living room out newly acquired Tupperware.

Then again, if you do, that would be one of those great stories you tell dinner guests time and again about that one guy who came to dinner and somehow connected Napolean Dynamite with the Guantanamo Naval Detention Facility while absconding with your best plasticware.

P.S., Adam did the dishes for his wife on Mother's Day and considers it noteworthy, suggesting Adam doesn't usually do the dishes...except on Mother's Day. I guess he is too busy writing great content for Turds & Wheezins and the Dark Star to help out his wife in the kitchen.

Sure, T&S's content is staid and their permabores are largely dead wood, but that isn't what we are talking about today. We are talking about The Truth Laid Bare ecosystem ranking of blogs.


T&S claims to be a "Mormon Marsupial", a spoof of a Marauding Marsupial, but if you click the link there you discover that T&S isn't a Marauding Marsupial at all. Go to the TTLB website and check one category down, the Adorable Little Rodents, and there at 2157 is Times & Seasons. OOOPIES!


So what gives? They drop down in ecosystem ranking instead of climbing it, so someone breaks the front end T&S link to TTLB and fails to update their downgraded ranking? Or is it just sloppy administering? Not that anyone would ever accuse anyone there of that. But, if it was sloppy administering, why did the link behind "Mormon Marsupial" break? Hmm. Or is it just tough to admit your blog is getting smaller instead of bigger?

Thx anon tipster

Taking a comment from the Snarkette (comment 17), someone has lampooned the SnarkerNacle as the StalkerNacle. Mwwa haw haw.

Looking through the javascript queue of people who might show up on the Magic 8 ball, you have to wonder if the javascript author's vanity leaked into the list (scroll all the way down to the bottom):

qArray=new Array(
"Nate",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"Nate",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"Nate",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"Nate",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"Nate",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"Nate",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Heather",
"Heather",
"Heather",
"Nate AND Heather",
"Nate AND Heather",
"Nate AND Heather",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate",
"Nate AND Heather",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"Kaimi",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"Nate AND Kaimi AND DKL",
"fMhLisa",
"fMhLisa",
"fMhLisa",
"Naiah",
"Naiah",
"a random John",
"Rusty",
"Rusty and Kaimi",
"Rusty and Kaimi",
"Steve EM. Eww.",
"Steve EM. Eww.",
"Steve EM. Eww.",
"BCC Apostates",
"BCC Apostates",
"BCC Apostates",
"BCC Apostates",
"BCC Apostates",
"T&S Permabores",
"T&S Permabores",
"T&S Permabores",
"T&S Permabores",
"T&S Permabores",
"Bannergaters",
"Bannergaters",
"Bannergaters",
"Mormon Archipeligiasts",
"Mormon Archipeligiasts",
"Darth Beth",
"Supergenius Evans",
"Supergenius Evans",
"The Millennial Black Hole",
"The Millennial Black Hole",
"The Tales Girls",
"The Tales Girls",
"Septimus Gibson",
"Septimus Gibson",
"Rosalynde",
"The Spinozist Mormon",
"Danithew",
"Bryce",
"Frank McIntyre",
"Adam G.",
"Kagey Kage",
"Kagey Kage",
"Naiah's Roxcettes",
"Naiah's Roxcettes",
"fMh Womyn",
"fMh Womyn",
"Kim Siever, eh",
"Kim Siever, eh",
"Geoff J., theologian",
"Geoff and Kristen",
"J. Stapley, chemist extraordinaire");

Hmmmm. And is this chemist extraodinaire also a javascript nrrrd extraordinaire? Stapley usually isn't this eager to promote himself, so it was probably the site creator's way of saying thanks, with a little brown nosing.

If you look at the SiteMeter link off the counter there on the bottom of the stalkernacle site, you can see the creator (you know its the creator because of the Visit Entry Page, Visit Exit Page, and Referring URL links) of the site spent about 47 minutes doing 69 page hits, and that person happens to live in San Diego, CA, which happens to be where Kaimi lives. SURPRISE! Which pretty much buttons it up that snarky's biggest fan (comment 18), who promised not to stalk us, is none other than our favorite Not-On-Sabbatical-T&Stard Kaimi Wenger! Although we suspect Stapley wrote the code, since Kaimi is obviously incapable of doing anything computer nrrrdy like writing javascript since he cannot even secure T&S against hackers. Nate might also have been involved, since he is the original snarker, and, obviously, Kaimi cannot do anything without Nate's blessing. So, this whole thing just turns into one big self-referential orgy of conceit.

Yay! So, Kaimi, here's to you being so eager to obtain tenure there at SDSU that you spend hours creating disposable one-joke websites that will fall into obscurity as soon as they get pushed off the T&S hit list, not to mention trolling on SnarkerNacle as our biggest pseudo-fan who hypocritically tries to get everyone else to boycott us while you keep on surfin on us. But, hey, do whatever you like, and do keep reading. We're flattered, so so so flattered. We love you too!

P.S., Couldn't you have at least pasted in a pic of a Magic 8 Ball? How hard is that?

Magic 8 Ball, T&S is old, tired and lame, isn't it?



Thx anon tipster.

File under: Crafty

[cue baseline from Led Zeppelin's "The Ocean"]

Well this guy posted to the Nacle says he is new in town
But the girls been sayin they seen him around
I thought they were right but I didn't really know
That guy sounded familiar and was talkin like a schmo
I think his name was Sep but they call him a schlep
I think I seen him in some bar doin country two step
The next think he said, "I'm kinda bananas
I got voices in mah head and am livin in Montana!"
We got into the cab of a rusty old truck
Smelled like an old man he said didnt cost him a buck
He said a little something about bein in counseling
So I made him stop the truck fore he needed a beating
I shouldn't have looked back man I'll always regret it
Something's going on and I'll probably never get it
He was crying like a baby - stupid dumb
It's just too bad that guy's a bum

He's crafty - he's gets around
He's crafty - he's always down
He's crafty - he's got a gripe
He's crafty - and he ain't my type
He's crafty

File under: Smarter than thou


Surprise! People who think they are smarter than everyone else enjoy coming up with excuses for and more acceptable ways to tell those other dummies why they are right and should be listened to (All praise Nate for the intellectual courage of posting someone else's work! Yeah, it is such hard work e-mailing someone and asking permission to do that, after all. You should probably be thanking Heather since it was probably her who had to do all the typing. Hail Omans! May your name long be honored on the Bloggernacle!).

Mauss' essay is an important reminder to all of the Nacle's fault-finding smarties need to accept that being ark steadiers will result in people scorning them and not giving them callings, because that is what happens when you are smarter than everyone else, right? The ignornant masses spurn you because of your brilliance. Ah, but it is all futile anyway, because the very premise of the LDS Church is they are authoritative in all things all the time and failing to recognize that undermines the very core of the Church!

For people who are supposed to be so smart, they sure don't get this whole gospel thing, the whole Sermon on the Mount, walk in Jesus' footsteps like a disciple, do they? Nah, that is too hard. Why actually do stuff when you can just talk about it and argue about who is right and knows more about what you are supposed to do, than actually do it? That thing Jesus said about learning the doctrine by actually doing the Father's will, I guess a PhD or JD exempt these guys from that since they are smarter than everyone else.

But, hey, you know, credit to Mauss for encouraging the intellectuals in his Dissenter's Decalogue to actually turn the other cheek (D4D #4) so the dummies will accept you when you condescend to their level (D4D #6), try to "pay your 'dues'" by keeping the commandments (D4D #5), and "endure to the end" by not wavering in the face of unrighteous dominators who reject your brilliant preeminence (D4D #10). Nothing like trying to frame Christ's teachings into the context of academe.

ARJ admitted to hacking into T&S in comment number seven here, and also re-hacked into T&S to confess it was him who hacked them.

Apparently whoever is supposedly the T&S admin is not exactly security conscious...or even conscious for that matter.

File under: Copycat

Kaimi is apparently miffed that Kaavya Viswanathan’s is getting all kinds of attention for plagiarising and wants in on the action. So, he cribs Rusty's prior post on Gaut, which post he lovingly adored, and turns it into a post on NYC, whom his wife Mardell also loves (making her the coolest wife in the world since she loves anything he loves and does whatever he does...take note there wives aspiring to unseat Mardell for 2007 Coolest Wife in the World). Or, maybe, being on sabbatical means you don't have to be original.

Ah, its spring time, flowers are blooming, trees are getting leafy, birds are tweeting, bees are buzzing...and young hearts turn to flirting. Awww, so sweet. These two kids are twitterpated. Hey, wait a minute...let me check on something here...WHAT?!?!? MARRIED! BOTH OF THEM OK, THAT IS IT! YOU TWO CUT THAT OUT!!!

File under: Judging

Not only is Caroline irritated that men spent half of the time talking at her RS Presidency meeting, she is aggravated that her Mercedes-driving, Armani-wearing, Great and Spacious Building-dwelling Stake President is counseling the women leaders to discourage girls from aspiring to lavish and inappropriate wedding gowns for Temple weddings that cannot be subsequently used after the Big Day.


Caroline pretty much agrees with his counsel, but that is besides the point, because this is an opportunity to detect masculine hypocrisy (the WORST form!) that simply cannot be passed over! I mean, if we are going to discuss cultural idolatry, then lets really start the fault finding. Never mind the Stake President did not counsel them to not spend a lot of money on the gown, only to keep it appropriate for the setting and useful for future Temple attendance. Oh, yeah, lets just skip that part and insinuate what he really meant, which was to keep girls oppressed in cheap hand-me-down rags so Priesthood Leaders can spend all of their money on themselves and their fancy cars and buy loads of meat, since we all know every self-respecting feminist has to be a vegetarian and must apologize at length for not being one and still advocate it, and watch Monday Night Football instead of having Family Home Evening like they tell all of us to do!

And did I mention I was surprised at how much men were speaking at this RS meeting? I mean, REALLY! They should just shut up and sit down, or better yet, don't even show up, since all they can do is spew their vile and pernicious hypocrisy! Oh, uh, I mean...he is a good guy...really...um...what do you all think?

You know, this Ed Snow guy, I mean, come on, like he kissed any girls at all during his teenage years. Uh huh, right. Look at that picture. He is so uptight and nervous, if a girl even talked to him he would have a panic attack. Guys like that didn't score make outs as teens, they played Dungeons & Dragons in their basement and if they rolled a 20 they got to debauch the fairy queen forest dryad, but only if she missed her saving throw.

And he totally misses the entire point of what Paul's point was with the whole "holy kiss" thing. He was telling the members of the early church to remember to brush their teeth, especially noticeable when fasting, because approaching someone with bad breath is just so distracting. Everyone knows Paul came from a wealthy Jewish family. Isn't it obvious Paul's dad was a dentist? Duh! So he was just telling people to brush and floss daily so they don't offend their Churchly brothers and sisters with stanky breath.

I tell you, Ed is about on par with Kevin when it comes to interpreting the Scriptures.

File under: Puerile

There are loads of really pathetic fanboys trapped in prepubescence on the Inernet. The Bloggernacle has seen their own version of this at times, but not anything fully realized. Well, it has taken awhile, but someone has finally come out of the closet. An informant has sent in a rather revealing photo of how Steve likes to spend his spare time, which is kind of embarassing. This is probably one of those secrets Steve would rather keep under wraps, so don't spread it around, OK?