T&S and BCC loath one another, but it is good to see they can set aside their differences from time to time and embrace one another in their mutual disgust for ignorant anti-mormons (the enemy of my enemy is my friend, or something like that) and their mutual regard for themselves and their fabled accomplishments of yore.

Ah, it does my heart good to see them locked in the bonds of fraternity. Who knows what good can come from it? Perhaps Adam will guest blog at BCC? Maybe Steve will do some Dehlin-defying podcasting and interview Wilfried? If we could only get more prominent scholars and journalists to mock us publicly then we could all set aside our differences and band together in our disdain for their ignorance and arrogance.

TEAM GREENWOOD

If you agree with Adam Greenwood's point of view on Mormonism, now is the time to join TEAM GREENWOOD. Because we are not all on the same team. The RIGHT team for the RIGHT people.

fmhLisa has at least three surefire ways to drive traffic to her blog. She knows any post mentioning sex, women holding the priesthood, or polygamy will instantly raise her SiteMeter stats. Her latest Wild Speculation post goes two for three there, but her last paragraph puts the “wild” in her speculation.

I quote, lest you think I’m making this up:

And Finally, this is the “wild speculation about mysterious ways” part, could it be that polygamy was less about polygamy (and much less about dynastic polygyny) than about blowing minds and hearts wide open enough to ask questions and receive answers about the divine feminine? (Emphasis Added)

She then puts that question to the assembled FMH’ers for discussion – with very few exceptions the comments do little to raise the level of dialog.

I don’t know about you, but just reading fmhLisa’s wild speculation gets me all verklempt.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Hubris! Arrogance! Revenge! Bloodcurdling Kierkegaard!

In this riveting sequel to the original smash hit you will see amazing arguments, withering glares, merciless insults and loads of other exciting summertime fare. Yes! The action-tragi-comedy of the season returns with yet another spine tingling installment. Tickets on sale now.

In other news, BCC and T&S still hate each other.

T&S' internal battles continued over the weekend as the titanic egos of opinionated bloggers collided in spectacular fashion yet again. In case you missed it, over the weekend, instead of doing something useful with their time, like some yard work or playing with their kids, the inner circle of T&S descended into yet another cacophony of contention by slandering the Marriots in a truly over-the-top tirade against pornography by Matt Evans, which they subsequently yanked and sort of apologized for. Ah, but note the "apology" was not by Matt (which apology was more of a "we didn't approve of the post or have any prior knowledge thereof, so please Mr. Marriott do not include us on the subpoena" statement). The typical course of action would be the T&S elite subject Matt to the gauntlet and graciously offer to allow him to resign, which he does and then falls out for awhile and then goes and starts his own blog. The problem is Matt owns the timesandseasons.org domain name. Hmmmmm, how are they going to pull this one off? How do you throw out one of the original members who has the keys to the shop? Things could get messy. Real messy. At least, one can only hope.

Call me, Matt, I'll give you $1000 for the domain.

Guy Murray's Predictable Linkfest
Never has a Mormon blogger held the standards of quality, the Divinely uninspired Bloggernacle, and those rights that are subjectively, shallowly rooted in cyberspace’s history and tradition . . . and implicit in the concept of substantive commentary, in such disdain and contempt as has Guy Murray.

Prime: Murray's Constant Posting of Boring, Irrelevant non-Mormon Content to the Mis-named M&A Endorses T&S's Culture of Corruption

Washington, DC — SnarkerNacle Majority Leader Snarkimus Prime made the following statement today after Guy Murray posted more of the same kind of drivel that brought the Bloggernacle Times down:

“Guy Murray's decision to continue to vomit irrelevant political crap into the Bloggernacle is disgraceful. Shutting down the Bloggernacle Times was the one faint glimmer of accountability for the Bloggernacle elite's efforts to control the Bloggernacle and silence critics of the Mormon Archipelago. Now, even that small bit of justice has been undone. DMI Dave correctly determined that Murray deserved to be silenced for spamming the Bloggernacle. Wordpress gives Guy Murray the power to post crap, but history will judge him harshly for using that power to promote his own personal political agenda in a Mormon forum that does not care what he thinks.”

And people wonder if the Bloggernacle will ever rise up and be something substantive. Nope, not as long as the two biggest big blogs act like this.

T&S is fronting like a faithful blog, yet courting the Stoner crowd. Are they hot, are they cold? I just don't know, so out they go. What is never in question is their propensity for self-promotion. But, hey, at least JMS had enough class to allow Nate to toot her horn for her, where Kaimi just couldn't resist tooting it himself.

Following Kaimi's example, I would like to announce that I, the great and terrible Snarkimus Prime, will be one of the "yet to be announced" guest panelists on #233 "How Effectively Does the 'Compost' Fertilize the Garden?" Prime will be taking the "Con" position, arguing that while compost can serve as a valuable soil amendment, in this case it is largely worthless and occasionally toxic and should not be considered anything more dross.

Guest post by Straight and Narrow Blog Boy


On a recent thread, Supergenius remarked:

Jettboy’s remarks represent the worst that is in mormonism: a lofty sense of pride coupled with an eagerness to build up our sense of righteousness at the expense of others. I hold Jettboy’s comments up as an example of what I hate most in our religious culture. Perhaps, by writing this post, I am falling prey to the same trap as Jettboy — denouncing another mormon to build up my own persona. I hope that’s not the case, but a part of me fears it’s true. Mostly, though, I want him to apologize for those remarks. He owes me a personal apology, as well as the rest of you.

I don’t care about popularity. All I care about is that my opinions are made available. I won't be apologizing, because I call them as I see them, and that is all that counts. And you can get all the left-wing commie pinkos that inhabit and infect the Bloggernacle to gang up on me. What really is the worst about mormonism is the way you ridicule people, like me. But I set my face like a flint before people like you who will smite me,, I know that I will not be ashamed. I don't care as long as my ideas are out there, to counteract your nutjob ones with the truth about how I personally have come to believe that there was both Evolution and a literal Fall of Adam and Eve where they were taken out of “mortal time and place” and put into an immortal “bubble” where they interactated with Eternity. It is there they went from metaphorically “cro-mag” to “homo-sap” through Covenant. You know its a true doctrine, Steve, if you weren't so hard-hearted and stiff-necked you would study it out and pray about it, as I have spent so much time studying the Scriptures, and then know it is true, which just proves my point, that you railed against me and not Eric Nielsen because I herald the Truth as Revealed to the Prophets and interpreted by me, through poetry. If anyone owes someone an apology it is you, for hosting such a spurious left-wing blog full of people who are not straight and narrow and filled with hate for mormon culture. And me prideful? Ha! Who goes around calling themselves "Supergenius" all the time? Not me. No way, not Straight and Narrow Boy, there is no way I would pick such a self-righteous pseudonym, suggesting I am flying high up above all others. I mean, really, Steve, like posting such a thing on the front of your Big Crap Collection would shame me into apologizing. Get real. All that is doing is proving to my conservative pals at Blogger of Jared what a brave and outspoken hero I am and how evil you are.

Nacle drop out Ryan Bell has started a blog that allegedly is going to "explain Mitt and Mormonism to an Underinformed World". And in 10 days of blogging, Ryan has yet to explain anything about Mormonism or Mitt. All he is doing is posting reactionary comments to other media links. Bashing Mitt bashers and talking about how stupid they are. Brilliant start. Hopefully he will get around to explaining some of these hot button topics soon, since it is getting actual press coverage, in a manner that will not make Mormonism look "wierd." I, for one, cannot wait for Ryan to tackle pre-OD2 Black Lesbian Polygynous Priesthood Ordaining Blood Atonements where beer from Moesers is served and make it palatable for all Evangelical Mormon-hating Republicans wo are determined to undermine Mitt's candidacy, not to mention all those Democrats waiting in the wings to see if he even makes it out of the gates.

In response to recent well-placed and inspired criticism from expert sources in the know, the LDS Church has released designs for new chapels meant to cater to the needs of young mothers. The new design will place a large indoor playground at the center of the structure with an entire hall on the East side of the building of spacious single-serve bathrooms, each complete with padded changing table, home made quilt, an array of diapers and stocked diaper-wipe warmer, vibrating leather reclining massage chairs and wall-mounted plasma TVs showing the Family Learning Channel 24/7. The west hall will be a modern food court style serving area where only organic, low-carbon, locally produced snacks and drinks will be served gratis. The North hall will be dedicated to a buffet area where New Mothers can order and pick up nutritious meals as often as they like, at their convenience, for the first 6 months after their most recent birth. The South hall will be dedicated towards stroller and car seat storage.

In a bold move that pleased Dr. Claudia Bushman, all Priesthood offices and public meeting spaces were moved outside into the parking lot and given unpadded stainless steel folding chairs. Dr. Bushman was quoted as saying, "Well its about time the injustice of all these years has finally been corrected! The horror, suffering and oppression of having to put strollers and car seats into the coat rooms has finally come to an end. The tyranny of small mother's lounges is over!"

I always wanted to be rich and famous. But you know what? DKL and Dehlin have ruined it for me. I mean, seriously, if DKL can be a millionaire and Dehlin can be the latest go-to guy for the anti-Mitt mainstream media, then it really takes the shine off hanging with the "in" crowd. Sure, sure, you can party with Diddy, go clubbing with Paris Hilton, and be on MTV Cribs, but, I don't know, that sort of thing just doesn't appeal to me. Getting famous off criticizing the Church and then constantly trying to convince people you are not criticizing the Church, that just doesn't seem worth it. And trying to get your 5M plus 2.5M in interest from guys who will do everything they can to keep it from you, that just doesn't sound fun either, since they have moved all of their assets offshore and already have their bankrupty paperwork filled out and ready to file. With my luck, Lindsy Lohan would do a Lizzie Grubman on me and wouldn't even be drunk enough to consent to an autograph I could sell on EBay. I'll take poverty and obscurity, thanks. I don't have to deal with membership-endangering sound bytes or injuring myself with litigous chest beating that way.

P.S., no matter what happens, guys, you will always be a bitter, long-necked brunette housewife who's husband works at a toilet paper factory and an out-of-work blogger who wants the DAMU to support his out-of-control hobby to me.

Dag, yo! 9M is faced by the Mhole. Whattap?

Rusty, turn in your hipster cred at the nearest stormdrain, cuz when Ben is more down with it than you, you are done, dude. W3rd.

DOUBLE SNAP!!! Rusty deleted the evidence!!! Quit frontin, man. Ben busted ya'll straight.

It came to my attention the earlier this month a convention of sorts took place in God’s Country – commonly referred to as the Colorado Rockies. Some of the FMH crowd met up with some DAM women and had a hoedown of sorts and – as blogging was discussed – Team Snarker was mentioned.

While Bored In Vernal point to mention that neither SnarkPics nor SnarkTour were available, Team Snarker would like to clear up a few misconceptions.

First, no Team Snarker pictures were provided because, in keeping with Gospel teaches, we did not want to cause any immoral, unclean, or impure thoughts among the sisterhood in the mountains.

And second, the bottom line is, Team Snarker was mentioned.

I think its kind of like the exchange between Captain Jack Sparrow and Commodore Norrington in Pirates of the Caribbean – The Curse of the Black Pearl

Norrington: You have to be the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of!
Sparrow: Yes, but you have heard of me.

In many ways, Team Snarker really is the Black Pearl of the Bloggernaccle. Our work is predominately sniping at the self-proclaimed ‘Nacle Denziens. They protest, but deep down they’d really rather be a ‘Nacle Pirate.

So, drink up (something inoffensively non-caffinated), me hearties, Yo Ho!

This thread at MorMen is up to 480 comments at posting time and is slowing down, just 20 shy of 500. It is already MorMen's number 1 post. Do your share to bump it up over 500. Come on, do your part!

Given the complete lack of moderation and the wide range and scope of the comments (e.g., exmos like to bad mouth former bishops and the LDS Church, barnacles are an integral and necessary part of the ecosystem, trolls abound while DKL naps, IUDs are a good fit on the cheap, despite appearances dentists are in fact poor, Ron Paul...you are our only hope, WIC is cheaper than interest so use it, the LDS Church needs to get hip with the times, scholarships based upon your waterboarding technique of young children, Wicked King Noah's Tax and Spend policies, on and on and on, etc.), you should be able to post a comment on just about anything at all and be able to tie it into something.

Anybody know what the highest comment count ever is in the Bloggernacle?

Connor and Dan, each proprietors of their own political blogs, have set aside their mutual hatred of George W. Bush long enough to start hating each other. For the past couple of days these two paragons of politics, these edifices of egocentrism, these titans of tripe have been flailing each other with such zeal that those who enjoys boxing, professional wrestling, dog fights, or DKL trollings (admit it, you know you do) are sure to want to pop their heads in for some hot ringside action.

Start out with Professor Boyack's tortured analogy of how America is Constitutionally Apostate (so glad we have a seasoned Constitutional Scholar on the Bloggernacle to assign us reading homework so we can be as learned and knowledgeable about the Truth as he is) and enjoy as Dan and he devolve into absurd caricatures of what the Civil War was really all about and what the War on Terror is really all about.

Then move on to Professor Boyack's foreign policy lesson that centers on why Rudy G is an idiot who is ignorant of all things Iran, unlike himself, obviously. This one devolves into a petty squabble between Dan and Connor over which presidential candidates are most Iran-savvy, and Connor challenges Dan to show which Democrat can "demonstrate their mastery of and consistency with Iranian foreign Policy." Well, clearly, neither Connor nor Dan know anything about Iran at all, or they would be discussing that instead of who does or doesn't.

Today's post by Connor will be a treatise that proves the Bloggernacle is controlled by the Illuminati and is actively working to exclude Ron Paul, the True Champion of the Constitution, from being President. And Dan will say Connor is loopy and it is all Mitt Romney's doing.

One can only give thanks the two of them fighting distracts them from commenting on other people's blogs.

The yawnerifically soporific T&S permabores have racked up a poaching trifecta: Kaimi poaches Jana, Julie poaches Steve, and Rosalynde poaches Dave.

That means there has been no original content this week at T&S. Nope, Sorry, Nate pointing people to work he has published elsewhere and already previously linked to at T&S is not original content.

Bloggermarkle Twain says "Chloroform in 'print'."

UPDATE: What do T&S and Flintstone's Vitamins have in common, besides a lot of inert filler material? Yes! Both can claim 2,000,000 as some sort of alleged indicator of popularity!!! I don't know about you, but reading Russell's apologetic sounding "Hey, yeah, we're kinda crap these days...but we have lined up some big stuff so please don't think we have one foot in the grave" thing is a little disheartening. I mean, yeah, we love making fun of these people, but we really do just plain ol' love them too, warts and all. Yes, even Kaimi, darn it. So, come on guys, don't be all poopy and depressed, just get off your collective butts and start posting substantive stuff. I mean, seriously, that race thing Kaimi did actually did not suck. So, come on, guys, keep it up!

ANOTHER UPDATE!!! WOOHOO!!! I, Snarker Soopreeemus was the 2 Millionth visitor to T&S and I have the proof. So what do I win?

You know a blog post is junk and the comments are rubbish when DKL is the voice of reason.

Paul's advice on this general subject is pretty good. Hard to actually live, but still, something we all really should be aiming for. But, this is just the opposite of Paul's advice.

When an Ex-mormon sits there and faults the Church like this with a story that is almost certainly overblown by an active imagination (dare I even suggest it is biased? NO!). Sorry, T&S, but this just isn't something newsworthy or informative to the Bloggernacle at large. For the self-appointed vanguard of the Bloggernacle, this is the equivalent of pumping bilge into the ship, not out of it.

I, the Bloggernacle Fabio, want to tell these beautiful women how beautiful they are, and they are so smart, and witty, and charming. Yes, yes, it is true my darling, lovely, vivacious ladies. Look into my eyes as I tell you how transcendentally clear they are, and I tell you that I can see your very soul and it reflects your true beauty.

But, that is not all, you women, you blogging women write such virtuosic words of splendor that it makes my heart flutter. If I could only be asked to guest blog at FMH, then my life's ambitions would be fulfilled, as I told all of you how wonderful and beautiful you all are, not just on the outside but on this inside, where your true eternal beauty lies.

You DAM women, you steal my very heart!!! And, you, you little flirt, doing that split! You temptress!

Now you may swoon and collectively sigh over my pictures and peruse my blog. You must admit, I, yes, even I, the very Bloggernacle Fabio, am the most swoon-worthy. The Johns are nothing, I am the Fabio!!!

Mitt and Bushman cannot be spoken of in the media without someone in the Bloggernacle commenting upon it at length about it. And, yet, the entire Bloggernacle has apparently missed this one! Wow, Bushman commenting on Mitt, that is a double dose of Bloggernacly goodness just begging for a post, and everyone is asleep at the wheel. What gives people?

Girls, girls, really. I am flattered that you talk about me so much and so often, but, really, there are better ways to spend your time. How about you do your old Mother in Heaven a favor and actually help your sisters there in mortality out? Trying to be all politically uppity is the world's way of doing things. "Well-behaved women seldom make history"? Sorry, Laurel, that just isn't my way. Call me discreet, and call me old fashioned, but actually serving and sacrificing for others is my way of doing things. If you want to honor me, enough with the lip service. How about some real service? The hours you spend blogging about me could be spent actually doing something to help someone, which would really make me happy and lighten the load on all of us up here. And, it will be a lot more fulfilling for you than blogging. Seriously, what can you say about me that someone has not already said, right there on your very blog? Nothing. You are done. Thanks. Now go out and do something. Want to be an activist? How about going down to the local shelter and getting involved in a someone's life? That is the kind of activism I like.

Love,

Mom

Did I mention how well read I am? No? Oh, yes, well, I do read a lot, and therefore have a huge pile of books with very snotty titles by very prominent authors. Yes, yes, I really am that erudite and scholarly. Do feel free to bask in my glow and be intimidated by the very aura of my eminent brilliance the next time I comment on your blog, and do feel unworthy to contradict or even question anything I say since you are so ignorant compared to me.

OK, if you have time to write up lists of all the books you own and post it online, you obviously aren't reading books, you are just collecting them to show off to your Home Teachers to lead them to believe you have actually read them, which you probably haven't. Time for a garage sale, packrat.

One year ago, on May 27, 2006, Adam Greenwood threw T&S into utter contention by comparing himself to Abinadi. And he apparently got himself suspended for it. How do we know this? One year and one day later, almost to the very millisecond, on May 28, 2007, Adam Greenwood takes to blogging again at T&S by quoting the Gettysburg Address, then again on May 29 he posts again, on something that would more typically be a sidebar "Notes from All Over". Coincidence? Unlikely. Adam has been active over the past year in the comments and Notes from All Over, but has not posted anything new as a permablogger (he did get greenlighted for one repost).

While the Millennial Black Hole sighs in relief (yes, it actually is still breathing) to be free of Adam, no doubt T&S will shortly be roiling in debates about abortion, traditional American Mormon values and Mitt Romney. Lucky them. And, more lucky are all of us, to once again be blessed with these pearls of wisdom.

Eric just cannot understand why people in the Bloggernacle think he is a self-righteous jerk. Gee, maybe it is because he considers himself a nice guy in "a place like this". Or maybe it is because he considers himself and the way he does things "orthodox":

I think that what we rely on at the end of the day is important in determining how orthodox we are. If we are honestly basing our beliefs and actions on the scriptures and on modern day prophets as a whole then we can consider ourselves orthodox within the church. If we are basing our beliefs on something else and ignoring the scriptures we are not.

Nah, couldn't be that he is accusing others of being dishonest and of not following the scriptures or modern day prophets. Or, what about the way he passive-aggressively paint himself as the innocent victim when he compares the bloggernacle in general (or at the very least those who call you "self-righteous") to teenage bullies who try to get him to swear or his drunken golf buddies who try to get him to drink beer? Yeah, Eric is the hapless, innocent who is beset by angry meanies who hate him for no other reason than he is doing his best at being a nice, righteous guy.

OK, Mr. Goody Two Shoes, stop your whining. There is nothing goody-goody about going around voicing opinions in public about who is good (yourself) and who is bad (the bloggernacle). Hey, guess what, there are going to be people who disagree with you. And they are entitled to. Because you are just some opinionated blogger, just like all the other opinionated bloggers. That is what a public forum is about. And disagreeing with you doesn't make people bad.

You might be, as you say, "a schmuck", but engaging in self-deprecation like this does not change the fact that you are acting in an obnoxious and offensive manner and are getting what you asked for. Self-made martydom does not necessarily mean you are righteous. Jesus and the apostles were persecuted for their righteousness, but that doesnt mean all those persecuted are righteous. Going around slapping people in the face is going to get you slapped back, and that is what you are getting right now. What comes around, goes around.

Should the bloggernacle turn the other cheek? Yes. But, well, it looks like we are no better than you when it comes to actually doing what Jesus taught.

Here are all of the rejected submissions* from BCC's lolnacle thread:


































*I don't know why Steve wouldn't accept Team SN's submissions.

FMH is featured in this month's issue of Bust magazine, which self-describes as follows:

BUST is a groundbreaking women's lifestyle magazine that is unique in its ability to connect with bright, cutting-edge young women. With an attitude that is fierce, funny, and proud to be female, BUST's revolutionary editorial mix addresses a refreshing variety of women's interests, including pop culture, music, crafting, fashion, sex, news, and celebrity interviews. Hip, humorous, and honest, BUST is a cheeky celebration of all things female and a trusted authority on up-and-coming trends among young women.

They have been cutting edge hawt grrl trendy in a stereotype smashing way since 1993. So stereotype smashing that the only "feminist" who has heard of them before now is John "FMHLisa swoons for me" Remy, and he...errr...ahhh...ummmm...reads it for the articles. In other words, it is not a feminist mag, at all, it is pop culture effluvia for grrrls (and Suicide Girls oglers), and John goes into Borders and reads it all the time, but does not usually buy it, except this time, because it features FMH (if he bought it monthly, why wouldn't he save the money and time and subscribe and help them stay in business?)

OK, so FMH is a trend-breaker because it is "Mormon and Feminist", and is therefore a square peg, a walking contradiction. Well, there you have it. And that means they can eschew wisdom and cozy up to the world. Congratulations, grrrls, when Jesus tells the woman caught in adultery to "go and sin no more", you are keeping company with people who say "adultery is no more sin". Maybe you can get Chloe "Brown Bunny" Sevigny to autograph your courtesy copy.

Daniel Bartholomew is one of the Bloggernacle's...um...errr...more different...and unique...individuals. He makes odd line art, likes to count up word frequencies in the chapters of the Book of Mormon, thinks Sustain'd is a great idea and FMH is "big", and blames everything bad on the chupacabra. Kinda makes you wonder what makes a guy like that tick. Well, the truth has now been revealed with photographic evidence that his brain has been eaten by a space alien, which actually explains an awful lot.

...but you can never leave.

This blogging thing is more addictive than crack. You got people trying to leave, but not.

And, after an almost two year-long absence spurred by a vow to never return, JMW sort of returns to the Bloggernacle by having his blog listed at the MoArch in box 6.

I think LDS Family Services needs to start offering 12 Step services to bloggers.

Nothing like hijacking someone else's post in an effort to ingratiate yourself with women and pump up your own stale blog.

Why come up with something novel to blog about when you can swipe Mother's threads the day after Mother's day and move them to your blog just to work in some brown-nosery? Why let those 70+ comments languish at VSOM when you can host them at T&S instead?

There is a real Mother's Day present, right? Taking their topic and giving it the notoriety it deserves...just not at their blog. Would you like a little insult with that injury?

UPDATE: KHH has attempted to take back the thread from KW, and largely does, while the T&S thread devolves into another DKL dirge of self-absorbed banality.

Why is Mormon Stories pink all of the sudden?

As [I] promised [all of you, my loyal fans,] I have committed to dedicate the next 5 episodes of Mormon Stories Podcast to LDS Women’s issues[, as far as they relate to me and how I can promote myself through them].

However, I need your help. I cannot do this alone[, because you, my loyal fans, need to pay attention to me, and I do need some guests, right?]. Specifically:

* What stuff should I read before conducting the interviews? [Not that there is anything you can suggest that I haven't already read, because I have already read it all, and there are tons of posts elsewhere on the bloggernacle already answering this question, but mostly because I want you to read my blog and leave a lot of comments praising me.]
* Should I team up with a woman to conduct the interviews? Better yet, should I ask a woman (or women) to conduct the interviews without my participation? If so, who? [I mean, really, who is as good a host as I am? I cannot even imagine anyone else doing it, especially since there are no women podcasting in the bloggernacle, so I am just being gracious here, and not seriously offering to hand over the mantle. But, you have to admit, it is good of me to even make the offer.]
* What should the 5+ episodes entail? [This is where you tell me how wonderful I am and how the 5 dedicated committed episodes will not be enough of my dulcet voice for you.]
* Who should I interview for each episode? [Because it really is all about me, so while I offer above to have others do the interviewing, we all know that really means me, and I am only pretending to be gracious.]
* What should be covered in each episode? [Besides me, I mean.]

Please don’t answer any of these questions here [because I want to milk this for all it is worth]. I will create a blog post dedicated to each of these questions. In the mean time, I have created a wiki page for collaboration on these topics. Please check it out here, and feel free to help me enhance/augment. You can do so by registering, or anonymously. [I don't care which, as long as you do it.]

I very much look forward to working with you all to knock this series out of the park. This may be the most important thing I do with Mormon Stories. [Note the emphasis on "I", because this isn't about women, it is about me podcasting on women.]

Why is Mormon Stories pink all of the sudden? [Because I want you to pay attention to me! And any superficial means of drawing attention to myself is perfectly acceptable, and we all know blue=boys and pink=girls, hence FMH's pastel pinkness which I endeavor to mimic to garner their praise so they will give me a sidebar link! {Editorial note: oops, got that one wrong, the pink color got MS a post, woohoo!} And, come on, you know you want me to interview FMHLisa, I know I do, so she will definitely give me a sidebar link! And someone at Exponent II, and Sunstone, yeah!]

Inspired by the brilliant and insightful exposition of the manly men at Blogger of Jared, a brave and bold new blog has sprung forth from the ground to provide an outlet for all manly Mormon men to opine their manly concerns. (click the link only if you are a man, or man-enough).

This month's topic will be seasonally timed: Weedwhackers:Gas or Electric?

Next month: Is artillery sufficiently phallic in design?

While Aaron B. Cox has not been seen around the Bloggernacle in some time, he is fondly remembered for his proclivity for Truman Madsen. Some also esteem him as the forerunner of Blogger of Jared.

Aaron is doing reasonably well for himself and has relocated from Atlanta, GA to San Francisco, CA to pursue his love of lacrosse and continues to expand his construction skillset with Cahill Contractors.

Mormon Mommy Wars’ Heather O. has a little secret which finally became too big to conceal. She’s with child and well on the road to delivering a new bundle of joy on or around June 11th. Congratulations are in order, although Heather shouldn’t expect a present from us here at Snarker, Inc. We’re cheap and we’re guys. We don’t do baby showers – one of the main tenets of Guydom is the commandment that no self-respecting guy ever willingly attends a baby shower.

Many Bloggernacle Sisters chronicle their entire pregnancies online. Some are more entertaining and comical than others. Yes, Tracy M., I’m talking about you. As Heather has, up until now, avoided chronicling the first 35 weeks of her pregnancy, she now has to make up for lost time. She started today and proved that pregnancy can and often does have an adverse effect on a woman’s driving ability.

So, look forward to more tales at MMM. I won’t comment much because I’ve been around enough pregnant women to know anything I say, do, or even think can and will result my having to shield myself from flying debris.

Best of luck to you, Heather. Rest assured there will be no snarks mentioning midnight ice-cream runs, pickle juice consumption, or waistline expansion. We’ll leave that in your capable hands.

Kaimi is excited about the prospect of sending Mrs. Kaimi back to school and resting on his laurels, enjoying a life of blogging leisure. Thanks President Hinkley! Never mind he was speaking at a Priesthood Session of General Conference, and was addressing the Aaronic Priesthood aged boys to encourage them to get themselves into college, pointing out their female peers were going to college at rates exceeding theirs. Not to worry about that when you can send the wife back to school to increase her earning...I mean...learning potential and make it easier for you to work on publishing articles in Law Journals...and blog.

'Mid liberal Bloggernacle he did dwell,
Warning Sunstoners they'll go to hell.
False doctrine by verse he did preach,
In his own image did he teach.
"The dove and whale become like one"
This makes no sense, but sound like fun,
A feathery, flying whale that weighs a ton.
"Saving masses and losing none"
Um, except Judas Iscariot and,
oh, yeah, perdition's son.
The orthodox, like Jettboy, truly follow the scriptures,
save composing verse, are released from it's strictures.

The second stanza is about Joseph Smith?
Or is it Eutychus, I know not which!
Meandering through windows, no tears shed?
What, oh what is in Jettboy's head!
Mysteries of the Universe laid bare for the Nacle,
A qualified art critic these problems he'll tackle.
A scholarly, well-read, master of prose,
writes poetry yielding nighmarish repose.

Margaret Young, T&S defector (a.k.a. Blogger Emeritus) has delivered a stunningly well-written post at BCC that hands T&S' uber-mensch Wilfried Decoo a punishing overthrow as the previously unchallenged and unparalleled King of Pathos.

We luv ya, Wifried, but Margaret got more salutory comments on this one than you have in a long, long time, maybe ever. The King is dead, all hail the Queen!

And BCC delivers yet another painful kick in the shins to their arch-nemesis, T&S.

Setting aside hair-splitting arguments about what "The Bloggernacle" is, the LDS Church clearly has not acknowledged it in the manner DMI Dave and ASA David wish. Here is what the passage in question says:

Blogs that focus on Mormon themes have had an increase in activity as well.

In other words, some people blog on "Mormon themes." Hardly an endorsement or acknowledgement of the Bloggernacle. Keep on wishing.

Neither the Hedgehog blog nor the Article VI blog are listed on the MoArch or LDSdefect or Planet LDS or mormonblogs.org.

Hedgehog blog does get linked on the hyper-inclusive mormon-blogs.com, all the way at the bottom of the page under "Law & Politics", but even that one doesn't link to the Article VI blog, although Article VI gets a sidebar link at ASA. Oh, and, yeah, ASA David runs mormon-blogs.com, so unless you are into circular definitions the Hedgehog blog isn't part of the Bloggernacle, and the Church still doesn't know you exist. Sorry DMI Dave and all of you aspiring wanna-be big shots.

Someone please, please shoot me! The entire Bloggernacle has completely lost its collective mind and is presently gorging itself on "The Mormsons". Holy cow.

Thank heavens someone has posted something substantive to discuss besides this show.

Everyone, please, come to your senses. This is a like a flash mob, except it is spontaneously enacted not by txt mssgng nrrds, but by self-obsessed bloggers. Please, blog about something else.

Have you ever wondered if there were closet Nacle participants in your ward or stake?

Now you can find out, with the patented Nacle Litmus test!

As you interact with your LDS friends this week, ask what they thought of PBS Frontline documentary, "The Mormons". You may expect one of two reactions:

1) "I can't believe how negative it was! It was nothing but a biased hit piece on the Church, probably produced by a bunch of anti's!"

2) (shrug) "Yeah, I saw it. It didn't have anything new to say."

And BINGO! You've identified your fellow Bloggernacler. Embrace this person, and welcome him/her into the limelight and fame of the LDS blogger-hood.